Tag Archives: dads

Dude Date

12 Jun

letter you may remember last year about this time the big Batman movie was about to come out. Just as I was lamenting the fact that I couldn’t find anyone in my sphere of influence excited enough to see the movie with me on opening night, a piece from the New York Times titled “Friends Of A Certain Age – Why is it hard to make friends over 30?” came across my newsfeed and struck particularly close to home. (See my related blogpost “Where do dads get friends?”)

Later that year, for my birthday and the coinciding release of “The Hobbit,” UnDorkMommy managed to cobble together a group of likeminded nerds for a nerds-night-out. Among that group were three other local dads, all of whom could appreciate beer, burgers and dorky movies.

Where last year was Batman, this year is Superman. I wasn’t about to let that opportunity pass. Months ago I called the other dorky dads and gauged their interest in another dads/dudes night out to see “Man of Steel.” They were all in – tentatively, pending schedules, release dates, and permission from the wives of course. “Awesome,” I thought. Four dads/dudes out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel.” I was stoked.

k-bigpic

A few weeks ago, after the release date was announced, one of the dads had to drop out. This weekend is his son’s birthday. Can’t fault him there. That’s OK. The other guys were firm. Three dads/dudes out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel” would still be awesome. I was still stoked.

We pinged back and forth coordinating work schedules, figuring logistics, and finally last night it came time to buy advanced tickets – 7:20pm show. Meet at my place between 4:30 and 5… head out from there. Awesome. So stoked.

Then this morning I get a text message from dude/dad #2. “I am out. Will not work for me. Enjoy boys.”

So now it’s just me and dude/dad #3 – which presents an unforeseen, awkward dynamic. My epic, 4-man, dork/dads/dude’s night out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel” has turned into… well… a date.

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I relayed the story to my assistants during the first filling of the morning. I should have known better. “Wait a minute,” said my assistant as she handed me an instrument. “Just you and another guy? Dinner and a movie? Yep, it’s a date.”

My patient agreed. “uhh, huuh” he managed, despite the fact that I was drilling his tooth at that exact moment. The conversation only degenerated from there.

From across the office my other assistant said “You don’t want to have too many beers. You might make a bad choice you’ll regret the next day.”

“Just make sure you aren’t wearing too much AXE body spray” said assistant #1, clearly enjoying watching me squirm.

“Oh, and make sure you don’t shave your legs the night before,” said assistant #2. “That way no matter how bad you want to take things further, you’ll be too embarrassed to do it.”

At this point the patient was totally gagging, launching water and fluids all over the operatory, not because of anything I was doing, but because he was laughing as my assistants gleefully twisted the knife in my back. As she offered some suction to the choking patient my assistant gleefully said “Just remember, he won’t want to buy the ice cream truck if he gets the popsicles for free.”

I finished working in his mouth and made my way back to my private office. “What movie are they seeing?” I heard one assistant ask the other.

“Thuperman,” came the response (emphasis in the sibilant “S”). “He’th tho thtrong with hith muthleth and hith thkin tight thuit.”

The-Ambiguously-Gay-Duo

I closed the door to my private office and relayed the recent conversation via text message to the two dudes/dorks/dads. The last text read “Jokes about AXE body spray and shaving your legs. My patient was gagging, cracking up so hard while I was drilling on him.”

The remaining dude/dad texted back “My text window just displayed ‘hard while I was drilling on him.’ Should I just show up to your office with leather pants?”

“The innuendos are popping up all over today,” I replied.

“You can tell your staff it was going to be a group thing,” he texted back. “But Corey pulled out.”

This always happens with the tentpole movies.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long work day today. The thinly-veiled jokes are going to keep coming and coming

-Dork Dad

dude date

Media Dads

26 Sep

hen I got into dadblogging I dove into the larger dadblogging community to see what was out there, what the culture was like. We were still feeling the pain of the Great Recession, many fathers found themselves Stay-At-Home Dads (SAHD’s). Instead of pouring their souls into a 9-5 job for a paycheck, they put everything they had into the 5-9 job of raising their children. For many of them their blogs were a release, and a way of connecting with a broader community of like-minded people, and in doing so they found that one of the things they had in common was the fact that they took exception to the way dads were generally portrayed in the media. These were fathers who were giving everything they had to being the best fathers they could be. They justifiably took a lot of pride in that fact, and suddenly realized that the media at large tended to give fathers (and fatherhood) a bum wrap.

By way of example, check out how the dads are depicted in this movie trailer:

Fathers in sitcoms were typically portrayed as perhaps well-meaning, but ultimately incompetent dunderheads. Fathers in children’s movies rarely played a positive role, if they were present at all (there isn’t a father-figure to be found in the “Toy Story” films). Television commercials were aimed primarily at women/mothers, and if fathers were depicted at all they were shown as absolutely incompetent, facepalm inducing idiots who are completely flummoxed by adhesive diaper tabs, who check sports scores on their phones during their kids’ recitals, etc… In real economic terms, major corporations were investing in mommy-blogs (Disney now owns Babble.com), and reaching out to the mommy-market. Fathers were largely overlooked (as opposed to “men”, who are aggressively marked to by beer, nudie magazines and the NFL).

I’ll be the first person to admit I feed into these stereotypes. I joke with my patients all the time about how without our wives we men would be a bunch of feral animals roaming the streets – it’s the women in our lives who civilize us. Whenever I lecture I show a picture of me and my wife and make the joke “My life is like almost every sitcom or commercial you see on TV — some fat slob married to an incredibly hot chick. Every day of my life is like an episode of ‘King of Queens’ or ‘Accordng to Jim’. I don’t know why the universe works out this way, I’m just glad it does.” Of course I’m joking, but from the perspective of the dad-bloggers who came before me, my jokes are part of the problem.

The King of Queens

At first I thought dadbloggers’ outrage (Perhaps the word “outrage” is too inflamitory, given the current political environment in our country. But I’m about to make another political reference so we’ll go with it.) was a little like sentiment behind current efforts to contain voter-fraud on the national stage – which is to say outrage towards a problem that really doesn’t exist. But now that I was aware that it was “a thing” I was more in tune, and I saw what the dadbloggers were reacting against.

Maybe it’s the scientist in me, but being “in tune” means seing both sides of any equation. As I consume media with a little more of an eye towards how dads are portrayed, my attention is also drawn to portrayals of dads doing it right. Some time ago I posted about how fast my daughter is growing up, and I linked to the following two commercials which I think paint dads in a really good light.

This blog was originally intended to be a celebration of dads doing it right. I realize how self-serving that sounds given the fact that I usually blog about me and my family, but I try to bring in as much external stuff as I can. In that spirit I’d like to share a few more examples of commercials I’ve run across that reflect well on fathers and fatherhood. Watch and enjoy:

This Dorkdaddy.com blogging experiment has put me in touch with innumerable dads who are consistently doing it right. In fact just last week through a mutual friend on Facebook I met a dad who, not even a week after I published what I thought was sure to get me a nomination for “Father of the Year“, published his own bit of digital fathering awesomeness that totally blew mine out of the water (/shakes fist at R.F). They are an inspiration and validation for dads everywhere. If nothing else they are shining examples of the notion that there is very little in the world more valuable in the life of a child than a father who’s all-in.

To all you dads out there doing it right, I salute you.

Clark Kent’s Lunchbox

& Squatch Makes 3

A Daddy Blog

Always Jacked

How To Be A Dad

…and so many more.

-Dork Dad

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