Tag Archives: batman

Why Superman Is A Better Dad Than Batman

10 Jun

letter The boys over at HowToBeADad posted their thesis “5 Reasons Why Batman Would Be A Better Dad Than Superman” with full knowledge of the reaction it would bring. They knew a few of us couldn’t let it slide. They knew we’d be forced to blog our counterarguments, thus driving more attention and traffic to their site. Moreover, they knew we knew they knew, and they knew we were powerless to resist. They are diabolical that way over there… one might say “evil geniuses.”

Ron Mattocks and Alan Kercinik have made their counterarguments, and mine, the third and final installment in the series, follows below:

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WHY SUPERMAN WOULD BE A BETTER DAD THAN BATMAN

1)      Batman is nocturnal.

HowToBeADad presented this as evidence in Batman’s favor, but given a little thought it becomes pretty clear that on balance, this can’t be a good thing. Where’s Bruce Wayne for that class field trip? He’s in the batcave getting his lacerations stitched up and dislocated shoulder reset by Alfred. You want your dad to be there for your first T-ball game? Sorry kid. He’s sleeping right now because he’s been up for the past 72 hours chasing supercriminals.

Then picture this scenario from the Wayne household: You’re a 5 year old kid. It’s the middle of the night and there’s a violent storm outside. The power is out and everything is pitch black around you. You’re scared and you can’t sleep. Your sense of fear slowly turns to panic as the sound of the wind and the driving rain intensify outside your bedroom window. You stare into the inky darkness, unable to see anything, wondering who might be stalking you from impenetrable night all around. Suddenly a bolt of lightning, and in an instant, only inches away, the face of a man is harshly illuminated, looming morosely over you in your bed. How did he get there? How long was he hovering, silently over your sleepless body? Blinded by the sudden flash you reach out into the darkness, feeling … nothing. Another flash of lightning, and this time the figure is gone entirely — disappeared as silently as he came. When the flash dims you are left alone in the dark again, wondering what else happens in your room in the black of night when you are asleep. You stare into the void utterly alone as the sound of thunder finally reaches your ears.

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Nocturnal dad. Yeah… not so great.

2)      Origins.

The father figure plays chiefly in the forging of the Man of Steel, so much so that Superman actually has TWO fathers to draw experience and guidance from. Batman has only himself. It isn’t much of a stretch to draw conclusions from there. When asked the question “Who would make a better dad, Superman or Batman?” far too many people confuse the word “better” with “cooler”. I’ll grant you, especially in today’s angsty, murky shades of gray times, Batman would be the cooler parent. Heck, I’ll even go so far as to say he’s a more interesting character. But where Superman’s origin is a story of love and sacrifice – two crucial themes central to the experience of any parent – Batman’s story is one of tragedy, trauma and vengeance. In that light I ask you, which hero would you want your child raised by?

For crying out loud, Superman’s kids would have freakin’ grandparents.

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3)      Track record.

No need to dive too far into obscure canonical details about the backstories of each character. Certainly HowToBeADad didn’t feel compelled to adhere to any standards there. But you can’t discuss parenting competence of Supes vs. Bats without bringing up precedent.  In the parenting department no doubt Bruce Wayne has vastly more parenting experience than Clark Kent. In fact, Clark Kent has had precisely zero children during his tenure as a superhero. So we can’t really draw on his past as in indicator for his skills as a parent. Not so with Batman.

In his 70+ years Bruce Wayne has been responsible four different wards, each of whom took on the mantle of Robin during his time spent at Wayne Mannor. Of those four…

…two have died.

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Any chance you’re going to name Bruce Wayne in your living trust as guardian of your children, given the fact that those in his care have precisely a 50% chance of making it to adulthood?

I don’t think so.

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Personal Testimony:

Beyond all of that, as my final testimony I’d like to present a personal story:

This weekend UnDorkMommy took my daughter to a mother/daughter thing until very late, leaving the boys at home to fend for ourselves. After resisting naps all day, Episode VI went down early without a struggle, and Episode V and I found ourselves in the rare situation where we had the house (and the DVD player) all to ourselves. A little dude-time was in order.

Cognizant of the fact that I likely won’t be able to take a 4.5 year old to see the PG-13 “Man Of Steel” this weekend, I opted instead to show him the 2006, Bryan Singer movie “Superman Returns,” which ultimately comes across more of a sequel to the Superman movies my son has already seen. Granted, not a masterwork, but a crucial part of my son’s education nonetheless.

We snuggled under a big poofy blanket and munched on popcorn and salami slices (his request). Towards the end of the movie there’s a scene where Superman is watching his son sleeping peacefully in bed, coming to terms for the first time that he himself is a father. He looks down at the boy, who he only just learned is his own, and with a tear in his eye speaks to his sleeping son, paraphrasing the words his own father (Marlon Brando’s Jor-El) said to him.

“You will be different. Sometimes, you will feel like an outcast, but you will never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son.”

I haven’t watched that scene since having a son of my own. I don’t mind saying, sitting there snuggling with my boy, it got me more than a little choked up. Now my son is an incredibly empathetic child, and although he isn’t old enough to understand the complexities of a scene like that, on an emotional level he totally gets it.

There’s a quiet beat at the end of the scene when Superman puts his hand on his son’s sleeping head, as every dad in the world has done to his child. Just as I was fighting to keep my own composure, my son leans over to me and whispers “Daddy… I love you.”

You just don’t get that kind of thing from a Batman move.

-Dork Dad

 

Post Script – 24 hours later:

The debate has grown and taken on a life of its own. Here is a list of the relevant posts on the subject, all well worth your time:

wonder-womanProbably the most intelligent retort to the original premise… and it’s made by a woman (of course). Escaping Elegance made her position known (in defense of Superman) in her piece “Boys, boys… must we bicker?” but with an important addendum… Wonder Woman would likely do a better job than either of them.

 

 

 

2712662-670376_green_lantern___rebirth_06__2005___team_dcp__pg03_04_superAfter following the discussion, fellow dadblogger Eric Bolton felt compelled to tell us that we’re all crazy, and totally off the mark. He contends that as usual, the flashy 1st stringers get all the attention, when there’s another hero just outside the limelight (as opposed to emerald light) that deserves some consideration, with his post “Why Green Lantern is a Better Dad Than Batman AND Superman [Because No One Asked]”

 

batman-son-daddy-issuesCaptain of Team-Clark Kent’s Lunchbox, this is Ron Mattocks’s response to the question at hand. “A Letter To Batman From His Son” examines the long term effects on a child raised by The Dark Knight. The results aren’t pretty.

 

 

 

Screen-Shot-2013-06-09-at-4_13_07-PM-300x285Alan Kercinik, founding member of Team-Clark Kent’s Lunchbox, takes simultaneously an academic and viscerally emotional approach to the debate with his piece “6 Reasons Superman Would Be A Better Dad Than Batman”. As you might assume from the title, his feelings are pretty strong.

 

hywiv8JThe original post from the boys over at HowToBeADad. Their blog is a traffic-generating machine, so they don’t actually need any more hits via links from piddly little blogs like this one, but it’s the original post that sparked the debate. To understand the stakes involved you must first read the buffoonery “5 Reasons Batman Would Be A Better Dad Than Superman.”

Supes or Bats — Who’s The Better Father?

7 Jun

letter yYesterday the boys over at HowToBeADad crossed a line. They worked up a clever little post they titled “5 Reasons Batman Would Be A Better Dad Than Superman.” You can imagine the fallout. Commenters on their blog and dadbloggers in our dadblogging Facebook group split right down party lines, and the debate continues.

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But from the ashes emerged a group of Super-Dadblogger-Heroes to bring order to the chaos. Defenders of Truth, Justice and the Fatherhood-way rose up to challenge the grave crimes perpetrated against fatherhood by the unholy alliance of Charlie Capen and Andy Herald. Those three champions, Alan Kercinik (the brain behind “Always Jacked” and contributor to this blog as a Guest Dorkdad), Ron Mattocks (chief power behind the blog “Clark Kent’s Lunchbox“) and DorkDaddy himself have come forward because in times like these, when evil is on the rise and everything seems in doubt, the world needs true heroes.

it's on

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Your champions have orchestrated a three-pronged response to HowToBeADad’s evil master plan. This morning team captain Ron Mattocks’s “A Letter To Batman From His Son” is the first response of three to come from Team ClarkKent’sLunchbox.

 

Dear Father Bruce,

I am writing this letter to you as part of my anger management treatment which, of course, you know the court mandated. Dr. Friskin, my therapist, thought this would be a good way to constructively work through my feelings. Honestly, though, I don’t even know where to begin. I guess my biggest question are all why. Why did you want me? Why did you fight my mother for full custody in the divorce? And why did you think you could ever be a father to me given your dual identity?

I want to believe that as a baby our family was happy one, but over the years I’ve realized that it couldn’t have been if Mother left you so soon after I was born. Did you even love one another? I guess it all didn’t matter after one of those freaks–what’s his name, Penguin–killed her. Listen to myself; a bird man murdered my mom with a stupid trick umbrella, and that’s not even the most bizarre part! That would be that my dad dresses up as a bat to fight other such loonies around Gotham City, in alternate dimensions, and God only knows where else! << click here to read the full letter >>

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Fear not, true believers. Truth and justice will prevail. Stay tuned.

In the meanwhile, please share your thoughts below in the comments about who you think would make a better father, Superman or Batman, and why.

LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!!

 

-Dork Dad

Who stocks the batfridge?

11 Feb

ho stocks the batfridge when Alfred is on vacation?

 

 

 

 

 

After a long night of crime fighting, Batman stocks up on a few supplies for the batcave.

 

-Dork Dad

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