Archive | June, 2013

Terrible Twos

25 Jun

letter And just like that, DorkDaddy.com is two years old. Much like my daughter finishing 1st grade, I did a sort of double-take and thought “Really? Where did that time go?”

As we finished the last day of school this year I found my thoughts drifting to my daughter’s teacher, and to how profoundly I appreciated everything she had done to make my daughter’s experience so wonderful. There are plenty of parallels there with DorkDaddy.com. To every one of you who has ever taken the time to read one of my posts, please know how extremely grateful I am for the time you spent on these pages, and even more so if you took the time to leave a comment or share what you read.

Holding hands.

Holding hands.

Every piece I write is written with a little voice in the back of my head saying “Why are you doing this? Why are you investing all this energy? Nobody really cares.” I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to convince myself otherwise, even if the predominant theme of the year suggests otherwise. But before I get into all that, I need to ask a personal favor of each and every one of you.

If you have ever read and enjoyed this blog it would mean the world to me if you could take a moment and leave a comment at the bottom of this post

Much like last year, I intend on taking this entire year’s collection of blogposts and publishing them in a hardbound coffee table book for posterity’s sake – DorkDaddy.com Vol. 2, as it were. If you have ever read and enjoyed this blog it would mean the world to me if you could take a moment and leave a comment at the bottom of this post – to be saved along with all this year’s posts and comments in the hardcover volume. It can be as long or as short as you like, it can say whatever you like (sappy adoration, righteous indignation, scathing criticism) but it would mean the world to me to hear from you your thoughts/reflections looking back on another full year of DorkDaddy.com. Please don’t forget to identify yourself in the proper field, or your comment will be attributed to “Anonymous” and 30 years from now I’ll have no idea who wrote it.

same

Reflections on Year 2 of DorkDaddy.com:

As much as I joke about nobody caring and nobody reading, the truth is this has been an incredible (and unexpected) year of growth/expansion/maturing (notice I didn’t say “maturity”) for the DorDaddy.com. After the first full year of blogging, DorkDaddy.com’s Facebook page had precisely 70 followers. On Twitter there were 131 (Twitter still sucks by the way). Today the Facebook page has 581 followers – still pathetic by blog-standards, but geometric growth in a single year by statistical standards.

Blew past 500 without even looking...

Blew past 500 without even looking…

There were a few posts over the past year that really seemed to resonate with people.

20thingsdaughterFar and away, the biggest post of the year was “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Daughter.” In hindsight it really does play like linkbait to soccer moms. It’s short. It’s sentimental and it’s attached to a particularly cute picture that’s easily shared on Facebook or Pinterest (especially on Pinterest… sheesh). In all honesty the idea for the post wasn’t entirely my own. It was a reaction to another picture/meme “20 Things A Mother Should Tell Her Son” that had gone viral on Facebook at the time. I couldn’t let something like that go unanswered from the dads out there, so I quickly whipped out the post titled “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Son”. That same day after publishing “Father/Son” I figured I’d better also write “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Daughter”. I worked out the bullet points while doing a filling and quickly cobbled it together on the blog between patients. I certainly did not expect the post to go viral itself, but some pretty fun things came from the viral experience. You can read about them on the post “Virality”. Of interesting note, the “Father/Son” post hasn’t enjoyed nearly as much attention, despite having may of the same bullet points as the “Father/Daughter” post.

It’s Just Sex, Dammit!” was a post I wrote early in 2013 to exercise the demons I felt from a nasty breakup between a couple my family was friends with. Someone at WordPress.com noticed it and featured the post on their “freshly pressed” section. Needless to say it struck a chord with the people who read it, as evidenced by the tidal wave of comments that followed. They are as compelling to read as the post itself. My only regret is that I couldn’t keep up with them as they were flooding in, so I wasn’t able personally respond to each.

Then, most recently WordPress.com featured some of their favorite Dadblogs on Father’s Day, and look at which blog they featured at the very top of the list:

Verklempt

Verklempt

I’m still flattered beyond words. The blurb the editor wrote describing DorkDaddy.com was nothing short of moving. I still get all verklempt when I read it. I reached out to the editor to thank her, but I didn’t have the heart to point out that she mislabeled my UnDorky wife as “DorkMommy”. Faithful DorkDady.com readers will spot the error quickly.

*****

As the blog has grown this year it’s also attracted the notice of entities (advertisers) looking to widen the visibility of their product through the blog-o-verse. With no small amount of apprehension I was able to dip DorkDaddy.com’s toe into that universe this year as well. T-Shirts.com approached me first, which lead to “The Great Super Suit Giveaway”. Then, some months later, I was approached by an advertising exec. representing Pringles. They were looking for bloggers to help promote their “Force For Fun” campaign in conjunction with Star Wars. The incentives were legit, and the material seemed to be in keeping with the theme I set up around here, so I went for it.

Black And White

Black And White

To all of you who participated in those events, thank you. All in all I’ve been underwhelmed with the whole endorsement/giveaway aspect of blogging. What I don’t want is to alienate readers with a bunch of material that obviously comes from someone else. If I do that sort of thing again I’ll make sure it doesn’t distract from the usual DorkDaddy.com zeitgeist.

*****

396049_150723075077634_981225626_nAs I’ve mentioned before, my original vision for this blog was to build a community of likeminded dorky dads to share their love for their families, and their dorkisms. It didn’t exactly happen that way and the blog is the better for it, but connecting with other dads was always at the heart of why I do this at all. I’m happy to say that group of dads actually exists…

…they all just happen to have blogs of their own.

This year I am thrilled to have found the dadbloggers community on Facebook. It’s a great place to commune with other dads/dudes. There we bounce ideas off one another, collaborate on projects (see the collaborative piece “When To Expose Kids To Star Wars – A White Paper”), refine our dick-jokes, and make fun of SDL (no I won’t tell you who “SDL” is). It’s been a real shot in the arm to have this bunch of guys to commiserate with. I’d love to link you to their blogs, but there are just too many to be practical. Instead, go to the Dadbloggers page on Facebook and follow it to get the best stuff from the group in your newsfeed.

*****

Dorks.

Dorks.

…which leads me to this year’s final reflection: Facebook.

Since going public, Facebook has been under incredible pressure to monetize. To that end they try to incentivize Facebook pages for personal blogs (like mine) to “promote” posted material. Essentially, they choke off how much of the stuff I post that actually gets to your newsfeed. They have complicated algorithms for figuring out how much content gets out and to whom. But the long and the short of it is, I’m posting stuff all the time on the blog’s Facebook wall, and most of it isn’t getting to you. If I want everyone to see it, I have to pay them real $$.

Like hell.

Thankfully, if you actually want to get DorkDaddy.com’s Facebook updates, there’s a workaround. The little infographic below should make it clear what you have to do to release the chokehold:

Workaround for DorkDaddy.com's Facebook page.

Workaround for DorkDaddy.com’s Facebook page.

*****

And with that, I’ll end the year of blogging by thanking a couple people.

To anyone who’s ever shared a DorkDaddy.com post on their Facebook/Twitter page – I can’t tell you how much that means. Ultimately we write for ourselves, but it gets really tough really quick if you don’t feel like your stuff is getting out there.

To Emily at “The Waiting”, Courtney at “Stay At Home Trauma” and Larva225 at “Adventures In Babyknitting”, you guys never seem to miss a post, and never seem to miss a chance to comment. Thank you so much. It doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Jeff Reisdorfer – DorkDaddy.com’s #1 Facebook follower. Again, don’t think it doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. I’ve never met the guy, have no idea who he is beyond his comments on the Facebook material, but like me he has a smokin’ hot wife and three ridiculously beautiful kids. Jeff, you have a standing invitation to submit a post as a Guest Dorkdad anytime, brother.

To my father, for being the standard I set myself against in the parenting arena.

To my children, for being the inspiration behind the blog and entire reason I exist on this planet.

To my wife, for letting me share on this blog way more than you’re comfortable with.

And to all of you, some who have stuck with me from the beginning and some who came along later, and some who only drop in from time to time – I’m sorry you’ve wasted so much time reading my drivel. I’ll try to do better next year.

Here’s looking forward to putting together Volume 3… but definitely no more episodes.

*HORK* *BARF* *GAG*

*HORK* *BARF* *GAG*

-Dork Dad

two

Here Comes 40

20 Jun

Recently UnDorkMommy has been pestering me about what I want to do for my impending 40th birthday. Ultimately I don’t really want for much in life. I’m very lucky to be able to just go out and get that new CD as soon as it hits Amazon, or that new mountain bike if I really, REALLY thought it was a good idea. Beyond that kind of stuff, the things I dream about (and therefore genuinely desire) are relatively unattainable. So when UnDorkMommy asks me what I want for my 40th birthday, my answer is generally unsatisfying for both of us: “Nothing. A re-fi on the mortgage. I’d like my practice loan to be paid off. Maybe liposuction so I can lose 20lbs. Other than that, there’s nothing I really want.”

Permit me to table the 40th birthday discussion for just a moment. I promise I’ll swing back around to it. Instead I’d like to share with you something I tripped over on the interwebs about 9 months ago.

Most credible dorks know that the planet Tatooine is actually the northern Africa country of Tunisia. George Lucas took his crew out there 37 years ago to film some of the most iconic scenes of the original Star Wars. Even if you aren’t a Star Wars geek, images like this are permanently etched into the modern pop-culture ethos:

Tatooine/Tunisia

Tatooine/Tunisia

Some of the Tatooine filming was done using pre-existing buildings, taking advantage of the unique architecture of the region. Some setpieces, like the igloo in the picture above from the homestead of Luke’s adopted Uncle and Aunt, Owen and Beru Lars, were constructed specifically for the movie. When filming was done the crew packed up and headed back home, leaving those setpieces just standing out there, weathering in the middle of the desert.

Over the years the most tenacious, intrepid Star Wars junkies have made the pilgrimage to the Tunisian desert to actually stand in the sands of Tatooine, next to the very structures on the very planet they visited in their imaginations countless times before. The nearby town has enjoyed the tourism dollars over the years, and is very friendly to traveling Westerners on their way to take a picture on the Lars homestead.

Obi Wan Kenobi's hut is actually a little fishing shack, still in use by the locals.

Obi Wan Kenobi’s hut is actually a little fishing shack, still in use by the locals.

Mark Dermul is one of those travelers. Since the early 2000’s he’s periodically headed to Tunisia from his home in Antwerp, Belgium to visit the set locations. In his travels he met Terry Cooper, Robert Cunningham, Mark Cox, Imanuel Djik and Michel Verpoorten, Star Wars geeks the lot of them, from all different corners of the globe. At one point a few of them found themselves standing in the desert in front of the Lars homestead igloo, saddened by its profound deterioration in the harsh desert environment.

Someone got the harebrained idea to restore the structure, and that was the spark that ignited the fire. One successful $11,000 kickstarter campaign, a Facebook page, and a whole lot of logistical planning later and the group of 6 Star Wars geeks from around the globe wound up doing masonry work in the hot Tunisian desert sun (120+ degrees!!) in the Summer of 2012, working to restore and preserve one of the most iconic movie sets in film history.

I have to admit, when I heard about the project (after its completion) my feelings were a little hurt. How could someone do something like this without me? How had I not heard about this before? I would have been a powerful ally, or in the word of The Emperor a “great asset”. I would have been a firm, dedicated partner in a project like this. I would have flown myself out to Tunisia. I would have raised funds. I would have stood out there under that (one) Tatooine sun and stapled chicken wire until my fingers bled. I would have swung pickaxes. I would have shoveled sand. I would have been totally committed. If only I had known.

Of course there was no application to be submitted, no audition or screening process to prepare for. This was just a group of friends who got a wild idea and totally pulled it off on their own (without me). Their entire adventure was of course documented, and can be found on the project’s website SaveLars.com. If, like me, you could spend hours just staring at the amazing photographs they took, they chronicled the entire experience in a hardback book (with a forward from Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill) available here (I’m totally buying it).

the boys

Just as impressive as the feat itself is the fact that despite the overwhelming media attention they received (and are still receiving), the six “Saviors” (that’s what they call themselves) are all very friendly and approachable. They’re just Star Wars geeks, like so many of us out in the world. They’re proud of the work they did and they’re excited to share it with everyone who wants to hear about it. This month marked the 1 year anniversary of their trip, and in honor of that I asked them if they wouldn’t mind being interviewed for DorkDaddy.com. They generously agreed.

***

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DorkDad: How did you become involved in the project?

Mark Dermul: Terry and Rob came up with this plan, albeit as a joke at first, they soon found themselves ‘confronted’ with so many positive reactions from the fans that they realized it would indeed become a reality. That’s when they contacted me, being well versed with the Tunisian lifestyle and having many contacts there. It took me about two nanoseconds to decide I wanted to be involved.

Terry Cooper: I joined Mark Dermul on his ‘Trip to Tatooine’ back in 2003, to satisfy my longing to visit Tunisia for the first time. I’ve been there a couple of times since and in 2010, we were all shocked by the gradual deterioration of the Homestead. That impressed upon us the urgency of a campaign to restore it before it became unsalvageable.

Michel Verpoorten: I’ve known Mark Dermul in events and conventions. When I heard about the project I say him that if they were looking for a photographer to cover the story I was available. While I was just only the photographer of the project, I was completely integrated by the team as their own, I was even more proud to be really a savior of the Lars homestead.

Mark “Coxie” Cox: Well It came about in Tunisia when myself and terry began talking about coming back and restoring the homestead. We could clearly see that she was starting to fall apart and wouldn’t last much longer.  So after a couple of weeks after arriving back in the UK we brought in Terry to join us… as it was the conversation with Terry that gave us the idea.

Rob Cunningham: In 2009, I met Mark Dermul in Como, Italy, and he offered the chance to join him in Tunisia the next year. While I was in Tunisia with the group, I met with Mark Cox and Terry Cooper, while we stood at the Igloo. And the rest is, as they say, history.

Imanuel Djik: During my visit with Mark Dermul, Mar Cox, Robert Cunningham and Terry Cooper in 2010 we saw the Homestead deteriorate fast. I contacted Mark D about my wish and motivations to get involved. Since they knew extra hands would be needed they welcomed me on board.

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DD: On the surface you have to admit, the project has to sound like a pretty hairbrained scheme. How did the people in your life react when you told them “I’m going to Tunisia to rebuild the Star Wars sets”?

ID: Some declared me insane, other called me geek or nerd. Family and friend said it was the coolest thing ever and are proud.

RC: Well, many of those close to me where already aware of my deep intrinsic love for the Star Wars Saga. For those who did not know of my love for SW, I would talk to them about the economic assistance that this project would provide for the local economy.

MD: Ha, well, since people in my direct surroundings are aware of my “Trip to Tatooine” outings, they only shook their heads a couple of times, before realizing if anybody could pull this off, it had to be us. Let’s not forget, we did not plan to rebuild the Star Wars sets (plural), but only to restore the Lars Homestead. One small building, albeit in the middle of nowhere (quite litteraly).

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DD: North Africa — 2012. The first thing people think is “Arab Spring” and the self-immolation in Sidi Bouzid in late 2010. Were there any concerns along those lines?

MD: There were many concerns along those lines as you can read in our online diary. We had to negotiate with the ONTT (National Office of Tourism in Tozeur), who were in direct contact with governor and Minister of Antiquities, who had to approve the project and provide us with the necessary permits. While the initial negotiations went smoothly, it took the better part of a year after the Arab Spring erupted, before we were contacted again. We had to wait for the new government to be installed before our project could go forward. Once that was the case, it went rather quickly.

TC: We were worried that the incoming new government would deny us entry to the country or refuse our request to work on the Homestead. Fortunately, we were allowed to proceed, thanks mostly to Mark Dermul, who spent months in negotiations with the government and tourist board of Tunisia.

MV: To be honest all along the road and locations where we was I never had a feeling of unease from Tunisian people at these moments.

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DD: What were some of the behind-the-scenes logistical headaches (permits, travel, etc.) behind the project?

MD: Permits was a big hurdle in terms of time. Travel is easy, no worries there. Everybody came to Brussels (Belgium, my home) and I arranged for the collective flights into Tunisia from here. Renting a van for six and our materiél was no biggie either. For the tools and building materials, we had agreed to work with a local contractor, to support the local economy. The biggest headaches were the working conditions (the heat was unbearable). We could only work from 6am till noon and from 5pm until sundown (around 7pm). So we had to get up at 5am every morning. We dubbed it silly o’clock.

RC: The hardest part for me was being on the other side of the world from the others. When we needed to plan something, one of them would throw it out on email, and by the time I woke up here in Arizona, the rest of them had figured it out. Sometimes, I wish I could have contributed more. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just living over here made it hard.

Being on this side of the world also made the plane tickets just *a bit* more expensive. 🙂

The rock where Luke was attacked by a Tusken Raider.

The rock where Luke was attacked by a Tusken Raider.

DD: Not only did you restore the Lars Homestead, but you were able to find some of the other significant Star Wars locations in the area. Aside from the reconstruction, what are your favorite Star Wars related memories of the trip(s)?

ID: For me, next to the Homestead it would be the Mos Espa set and the so-called Star Wars Canyon.

TC: Mos Espa is nearby, and although it’s beginning to deteriorate and the huge dunes are moving in on it, it still looks very impressive. I’d advise any big Star Wars Fan to visit it while it still exists. But for me, the Hotel Sidi Driss willl always be my favourite location as it just feels so real, and takes you back to A New Hope whenever you stay there.

RC: My personal favorite memory was when we walked into the Hotel Sidi Driss and one of the employees yelled “ROBERT! MY FRIEND! HOW ARE YOU!” I was shocked. I had met this man two years earlier, and only been there overnight, yet he remembered me. By name. This made my day.

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DD: Please describe your feelings, out there in the desert, when the Lars Homestead first came into view.

MD: When I first visited the Lars Homestead, many years ago while it was still in good condition, it gave me goosebumps. I remember standing out there during a sunset with John Williams’ soundtrack on the iPod and I actually shed some tears. I was not alone, by the way. It was a very emotional moment.

TC: I first saw it in 2003 and as we spotted a shining white dome in the distance, I felt intense excitement. It takes a while to get your head around it. But you notice that observers all seem to stand at the same spots, to witness it as it is shown in the film.

MV: You have the heart at 160bpm, thrilled and excited was the first words. No other words was coming!

Coxie: I always get emotional out there. It’s a lot of childhood memories  and getting married on site that always brings a tear to my eye. Besides I always give her a kiss every time we meet and always a goodbye kiss as we leave

ID: Pure excitement and joy. It is such an amazing place. Magical. It brings back all those childhood memories in a heartbeat. When you get there you hear the John Williams score, you see Luke Skywalker standing on the crater edge…goosebumps.

RC: The first time- I cried. The second time- I choked up. It is pretty much the only thing you can see in a 360 degree view. Just the vehicles, and the igloo. It is sobering. To stand there, where movie history was made, and to ‘be’ inside the movies and books, was amazing.  You hear people say “close your eyes and imagine…” Well here, we didn’t have to close our eyes. We could imagine with our eyes open.

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DD: After such an amazing, epic project, I imagine you all have grown pretty close. And yet, the job is done. What does the future hold for The Saviors?

TC: We’re certainly immensely proud of the campaign, and eternally thankful to the thousands of fans who helped us by raising funds and awareness so that we could do it. I think the next location that will be totally demolished soon is the Cantina exterior at Ajim. I really hope any future fan campaign is aimed at keeping it maintained, preserved and restored. But I think this will be for the next generation of Saviors. I’m happy to advise and support anyone attempting to do what we did, but I see my part in it over now. And of course, the Lars Homestead will still need maintenance in future. It’s not indestructible.

ID: Sometimes we joke about restoring other sets. And we would love to do so. On the other hand, we are hoping that we inspire other fans to restore the other sets.

MV: Indeed, I was coming almost alone and I left Tunisia with a tribe. We will keep this adventure always in our memories.

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DD: In the off chance that you all should head out there again, what do I need to do to get a spot on the expedition?

MD: If we ever plan to go back out as Saviors (I, for example, will be going back in April 2014, but as a family holiday to show the locations to my children), it will be posted on the Lars Homestead page on Facebook. But I do not think it will happen soon, to be honest. The job is done, after all. But thanks to the books that I have published (Save the Lars Homestead, Tatooine Reunion and Trip to Tatooine), people have all the info they need to make their own way to that galaxy far, far away.

TC: I can’t see myself going back out there for a long time… a long time. But perhaps that leaves an empty seat? Hard work is involved. High temperatures, long drives, poor hygiene and few luxuries. And always keep in mind that these sites are for EVERYONE, no fan can claim them as their own. They belong to the world, and they belong to Tunisia.

Coxie: Be able to use a tape measure and saw in a straight line.

ID: Jedi mindtricks

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DD: What is the one thing you want people to know or remember about the project, now that it moves into the annals of Star Wars history?

MD: I would like for the fans to remember that this project was by the fans and for the fans. We could not have pulled it off without their support (donations). And we sincerely hope that the Homestead will be around for many more generations of fans to go out and visit it.

TC: I’d like people to remember that the worldwide Star Wars fan community is a truly powerful and positive group of people. We can achieve great things between us if we all pull together. Remember that Tunisia is a very small, very underprivileged country – they know very little of this huge American movie. They’re too busy just trying to survive. If some small locations like this will help bring tourist money into the very poor south (far from the more affluent northern resorts), then surely Star Wars fans can have great fun and pride in visiting the locations – and help the local economy at the same time. Or to put it another way, “Don’t underestimate the power of the Force!”

RC: We did it for Star Wars Fans yes, but also for the people there. Many of us come from countries that are very privileged. I for one, feel that we have a duty to help others.

It’s the Jedi thing to do. 🙂

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***

So I’ve been working on cobbling this interview together for a few weeks. I’ve cruised their sight, watched all the videos, seen all the photos and chatted with most of The Saviors on their Facebook page. Then suddenly it occurred to me:

I know what I want for my 40th!!

I want to go to Tunisia.

No. I *NEED* to go to Tunisia. I need to stand there by the igloo and stare off into the infinite horizon. I need to feel the sands of Tatooine between my fingers. I need to hike the Star Wars canyon. I need to see Ben’s hut, and the streets of Mos Eisley… and I need to do it before those places are lost forever.

The thought hit me like a bolt of force-lightning. As much as I knew I *NEEDED* to make this trip, I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. For something like this you need a travel-buddy. But flying out to Tunisia and driving out into the middle of nowhere isn’t like hopping in the car for a road-trip to Yosemite. I needed someone who was just as crazy as me, someone who I knew would be both up FOR it, and up TO it. I had just the guy in mind, a Star Wars nut and dorky dentist dad like me, and texted him that moment: “We need to talk. Once in a lifetime, hairbrained crazy scheme that I’m deadly serious about.”

That evening I explained the plan to him over the phone. His initial silence at the other end of the line told me he was taking it in. Once he’d had a moment to internalize he said “Yeah. I’m in, man. I’m totally in… I just have to ask my wife.” ((wise man))

Long story short, he’s a military dentist and the only way he could get wife-approval was if they were stationed in Europe – which was a distinct possibility, but they wouldn’t know for sure until April or May of next year.

In short, my best hope for a travel-buddy to Tunisia/Tatooine, enthusiastic though he may be, is tenuous at best.

Which also means I am currently accepting applications. I need someone who is as much a Star Wars geek as I am, someone who is both up FOR it and up TO it. Lest any of you think I’m not serious, that I’m just being dramatic for the sake of my blog, let me reassure you to the contrary.

I’m as serious as a Wookie with a hangover.

Who’s with me?

-Dork Dad

lars

Saturday Dance Party

15 Jun

letter Aah, Summer Saturday mornings… when you stumble out of bed and wander into the rest of the house trying to remember what day it is, what time it is, and whether that thing you have to do is today or tomorrow. You manage to get the coffee going (how many scoops was that?) and go looking for the pancake fixin’s while stepping on squeaky toys and impossibly sharp Legos with bare feet.

And as you rub the sleep out of your eyes to the smell of brewing coffee and grilling pancakes your lazy husband, DorkDaddy finally drags his ass out of bed. Does he come over and help get breakfast going? No. Does he thank you for letting him go out with his buddy last night for beers, burgers and MAN OF STEEL while you were left to get all three kids to bed on your own? No. What does he do first thing? He sits down in front of the freakin’ computer.

Why? What on Earth? The kids need attention. The house needs attention. Just as you are about to head over there and give DorkDaddy a piece of your mind he suddenly stands up from the computer and yells,

“DANCE PARTY!!!!”

And right there and then, first thing on Saturday morning, still with bed-head, or sleep-face, or boxer shorts, or pajamas, or whatever, the DorkFamily gets their groove-thing on right there in the living room, in front of the big bay window with no curtains, for the entire neighborhood to see.

It’s Saturday morning, people. Turn up the volume on your computer and share in some of our favorite indulgences.

***

-Dork Dad (and family)

batussi

What I Want

14 Jun

letter My wife asked me a few weeks ago what I wanted for Father’s Day. Seriously, I have everything I ever wanted… or at least everything I ever needed. I don’t want for much, and if I do want something I’m lucky enough to be in a position to just go out and buy it (except the Porsche).

But that doesn’t help UnDorkMommy when it comes to Father’s Day. She wants to do something nice for  me, and she knows she doesn’t have the nerd-cred to know what it is I really want. It’s my obligation as a loving husband to help her out in uncomfortable, difficult situations like this. So here you go, Honey. Here’s a short list of some things that I would genuinely appreciate for Father’s Day:

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Five simple things I want for Father’s Day

(each should be pretty easy to come by)

1) I want security – security to know that I will be able to provide for my family for as long as they need it, and that no horrible tragedies will befall the people I love.

2) I want to be able to share the things that I get excited about with my wife, like the new Superman movie, or the microbrewery that just opened nearby, or the latest Star Wars Lego set — because having a 15-month-old and two other kids makes it so easy for both of us to do things together as a couple. ((not))

3) I want the seasons for “Game of Thrones” and “Walking Dead” to be much, much longer than they already are.

4) I want to resolve the terrible guilt I feel taking time away from my family to take care of myself, and the terrible frustration I feel taking time away from myself to take care of my family.

5) I want to finally be picked to be a volunteer on “Mythbusters,” especially since I’ve tried three times already without getting the call, and my sister tried only once and totally got picked — and she doesn’t even watch the show, dammit!!

You should be able to handle those things, right Honey?

You thought I was kidding about the Mythbusters thing, didn't you?

You thought I was kidding about the Mythbusters thing, didn’t you?

-Dork Dad

FDAY

Tiny Superheroes

13 Jun

letter I‘m generally not a “cause” kind of guy. When I did my marathon through Team-In-Training, which supports the Leukemia/Lymphoma society and requires a level of fundraising from their participants, I just put the entire required fundraising sum on my credit card and paid it off myself over time because I found fundraising so distasteful. The people in my life knew what I was doing. They knew it took money. If they wanted to donate, they could come to me. They didn’t need me spamming them, and asking them to spam their friends/families with solicitations. As you continue reading please know that I am very sensitive to that sort of thing. That said, I am grateful for every single person who’s ever taken the time to read this blog. The last thing I want to do is alienate anyone by pushing some “cause” on you. But this…

…this I just had to be a part of.

TINY SUPERHEROES 


In the summer of 2012 Robyn Rosenberger dusted off her sewing machine and made a superhero cape for her nephew’s second birthday. She then made one for my son but quickly realized there were other kids out there who actually WERE TinySuperheroes! She had been following the blog of a special girl named Brenna who was born with a very rare and severe skin disease. While she thought her son looked really cute in his cape, it became clear that Brenna NEEDED a cape!

Super Brenna

Super Brenna

After empowering Super Brenna with her cape in January 2013, Robyn featured Brenna’s story on her blog ( TinySuperheroes.com ) to help raise awareness, and was immediately met by dozens of other Extraordinary kids, each with their own remarkable story! Quickly, the dozens have turned into hundreds and in four months Robyn has empowered over 500 TinySuperheroes in 35 states and 5 countries!

Isaac

Super Isaac

Naturally Robyn needs help stepping up to the challenge (and incredible demand). She’s set up a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising enough funds to provide 1,500 capes to Tiny Superheroes all over the world, wherever they may be. The moment I saw it I knew this was something I had to be a part of. So last night, on behalf of the DorkDaddy.com readers, I made a donation.

Super Tom

Super Tom

Now I’m not asking you to donate, but if you want to there are only 6 days left in the campaign. (Sorry for the short notice. I only learned about Robyn and her crusade yesterday.) You can find the link to the indiegogo fundraising site here:

Click here to be part of Super Robyn’s TinySuperheroes crusade. 

What I will ask of you though, especially if this campaign touches you the way it does me, is to share this blogpost on your own social media platform(s). I’ve made it super easy for you. Just click-y on the little facebook/twitter/pinterest/redit icons at the bottom of this post.

I don’t need you or your friends to feel obligated to give away your own hard-earned money. I just want the whole world to know about the Tiny Superheroes and about Robyn Rosenberger, who I think you’ll agree is a superhero in her own right.

-Dork Dad

Tiny Superheroes

Tiny Superheroes

Dude Date

12 Jun

letter you may remember last year about this time the big Batman movie was about to come out. Just as I was lamenting the fact that I couldn’t find anyone in my sphere of influence excited enough to see the movie with me on opening night, a piece from the New York Times titled “Friends Of A Certain Age – Why is it hard to make friends over 30?” came across my newsfeed and struck particularly close to home. (See my related blogpost “Where do dads get friends?”)

Later that year, for my birthday and the coinciding release of “The Hobbit,” UnDorkMommy managed to cobble together a group of likeminded nerds for a nerds-night-out. Among that group were three other local dads, all of whom could appreciate beer, burgers and dorky movies.

Where last year was Batman, this year is Superman. I wasn’t about to let that opportunity pass. Months ago I called the other dorky dads and gauged their interest in another dads/dudes night out to see “Man of Steel.” They were all in – tentatively, pending schedules, release dates, and permission from the wives of course. “Awesome,” I thought. Four dads/dudes out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel.” I was stoked.

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A few weeks ago, after the release date was announced, one of the dads had to drop out. This weekend is his son’s birthday. Can’t fault him there. That’s OK. The other guys were firm. Three dads/dudes out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel” would still be awesome. I was still stoked.

We pinged back and forth coordinating work schedules, figuring logistics, and finally last night it came time to buy advanced tickets – 7:20pm show. Meet at my place between 4:30 and 5… head out from there. Awesome. So stoked.

Then this morning I get a text message from dude/dad #2. “I am out. Will not work for me. Enjoy boys.”

So now it’s just me and dude/dad #3 – which presents an unforeseen, awkward dynamic. My epic, 4-man, dork/dads/dude’s night out for beers, burgers and “Man of Steel” has turned into… well… a date.

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I relayed the story to my assistants during the first filling of the morning. I should have known better. “Wait a minute,” said my assistant as she handed me an instrument. “Just you and another guy? Dinner and a movie? Yep, it’s a date.”

My patient agreed. “uhh, huuh” he managed, despite the fact that I was drilling his tooth at that exact moment. The conversation only degenerated from there.

From across the office my other assistant said “You don’t want to have too many beers. You might make a bad choice you’ll regret the next day.”

“Just make sure you aren’t wearing too much AXE body spray” said assistant #1, clearly enjoying watching me squirm.

“Oh, and make sure you don’t shave your legs the night before,” said assistant #2. “That way no matter how bad you want to take things further, you’ll be too embarrassed to do it.”

At this point the patient was totally gagging, launching water and fluids all over the operatory, not because of anything I was doing, but because he was laughing as my assistants gleefully twisted the knife in my back. As she offered some suction to the choking patient my assistant gleefully said “Just remember, he won’t want to buy the ice cream truck if he gets the popsicles for free.”

I finished working in his mouth and made my way back to my private office. “What movie are they seeing?” I heard one assistant ask the other.

“Thuperman,” came the response (emphasis in the sibilant “S”). “He’th tho thtrong with hith muthleth and hith thkin tight thuit.”

The-Ambiguously-Gay-Duo

I closed the door to my private office and relayed the recent conversation via text message to the two dudes/dorks/dads. The last text read “Jokes about AXE body spray and shaving your legs. My patient was gagging, cracking up so hard while I was drilling on him.”

The remaining dude/dad texted back “My text window just displayed ‘hard while I was drilling on him.’ Should I just show up to your office with leather pants?”

“The innuendos are popping up all over today,” I replied.

“You can tell your staff it was going to be a group thing,” he texted back. “But Corey pulled out.”

This always happens with the tentpole movies.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a very long work day today. The thinly-veiled jokes are going to keep coming and coming

-Dork Dad

dude date

Why Superman Is A Better Dad Than Batman

10 Jun

letter The boys over at HowToBeADad posted their thesis “5 Reasons Why Batman Would Be A Better Dad Than Superman” with full knowledge of the reaction it would bring. They knew a few of us couldn’t let it slide. They knew we’d be forced to blog our counterarguments, thus driving more attention and traffic to their site. Moreover, they knew we knew they knew, and they knew we were powerless to resist. They are diabolical that way over there… one might say “evil geniuses.”

Ron Mattocks and Alan Kercinik have made their counterarguments, and mine, the third and final installment in the series, follows below:

svb

WHY SUPERMAN WOULD BE A BETTER DAD THAN BATMAN

1)      Batman is nocturnal.

HowToBeADad presented this as evidence in Batman’s favor, but given a little thought it becomes pretty clear that on balance, this can’t be a good thing. Where’s Bruce Wayne for that class field trip? He’s in the batcave getting his lacerations stitched up and dislocated shoulder reset by Alfred. You want your dad to be there for your first T-ball game? Sorry kid. He’s sleeping right now because he’s been up for the past 72 hours chasing supercriminals.

Then picture this scenario from the Wayne household: You’re a 5 year old kid. It’s the middle of the night and there’s a violent storm outside. The power is out and everything is pitch black around you. You’re scared and you can’t sleep. Your sense of fear slowly turns to panic as the sound of the wind and the driving rain intensify outside your bedroom window. You stare into the inky darkness, unable to see anything, wondering who might be stalking you from impenetrable night all around. Suddenly a bolt of lightning, and in an instant, only inches away, the face of a man is harshly illuminated, looming morosely over you in your bed. How did he get there? How long was he hovering, silently over your sleepless body? Blinded by the sudden flash you reach out into the darkness, feeling … nothing. Another flash of lightning, and this time the figure is gone entirely — disappeared as silently as he came. When the flash dims you are left alone in the dark again, wondering what else happens in your room in the black of night when you are asleep. You stare into the void utterly alone as the sound of thunder finally reaches your ears.

flash

Nocturnal dad. Yeah… not so great.

2)      Origins.

The father figure plays chiefly in the forging of the Man of Steel, so much so that Superman actually has TWO fathers to draw experience and guidance from. Batman has only himself. It isn’t much of a stretch to draw conclusions from there. When asked the question “Who would make a better dad, Superman or Batman?” far too many people confuse the word “better” with “cooler”. I’ll grant you, especially in today’s angsty, murky shades of gray times, Batman would be the cooler parent. Heck, I’ll even go so far as to say he’s a more interesting character. But where Superman’s origin is a story of love and sacrifice – two crucial themes central to the experience of any parent – Batman’s story is one of tragedy, trauma and vengeance. In that light I ask you, which hero would you want your child raised by?

For crying out loud, Superman’s kids would have freakin’ grandparents.

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3)      Track record.

No need to dive too far into obscure canonical details about the backstories of each character. Certainly HowToBeADad didn’t feel compelled to adhere to any standards there. But you can’t discuss parenting competence of Supes vs. Bats without bringing up precedent.  In the parenting department no doubt Bruce Wayne has vastly more parenting experience than Clark Kent. In fact, Clark Kent has had precisely zero children during his tenure as a superhero. So we can’t really draw on his past as in indicator for his skills as a parent. Not so with Batman.

In his 70+ years Bruce Wayne has been responsible four different wards, each of whom took on the mantle of Robin during his time spent at Wayne Mannor. Of those four…

…two have died.

batman_death_in_the_family_wallp-1

Any chance you’re going to name Bruce Wayne in your living trust as guardian of your children, given the fact that those in his care have precisely a 50% chance of making it to adulthood?

I don’t think so.

 *******

Personal Testimony:

Beyond all of that, as my final testimony I’d like to present a personal story:

This weekend UnDorkMommy took my daughter to a mother/daughter thing until very late, leaving the boys at home to fend for ourselves. After resisting naps all day, Episode VI went down early without a struggle, and Episode V and I found ourselves in the rare situation where we had the house (and the DVD player) all to ourselves. A little dude-time was in order.

Cognizant of the fact that I likely won’t be able to take a 4.5 year old to see the PG-13 “Man Of Steel” this weekend, I opted instead to show him the 2006, Bryan Singer movie “Superman Returns,” which ultimately comes across more of a sequel to the Superman movies my son has already seen. Granted, not a masterwork, but a crucial part of my son’s education nonetheless.

We snuggled under a big poofy blanket and munched on popcorn and salami slices (his request). Towards the end of the movie there’s a scene where Superman is watching his son sleeping peacefully in bed, coming to terms for the first time that he himself is a father. He looks down at the boy, who he only just learned is his own, and with a tear in his eye speaks to his sleeping son, paraphrasing the words his own father (Marlon Brando’s Jor-El) said to him.

“You will be different. Sometimes, you will feel like an outcast, but you will never be alone. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son.”

I haven’t watched that scene since having a son of my own. I don’t mind saying, sitting there snuggling with my boy, it got me more than a little choked up. Now my son is an incredibly empathetic child, and although he isn’t old enough to understand the complexities of a scene like that, on an emotional level he totally gets it.

There’s a quiet beat at the end of the scene when Superman puts his hand on his son’s sleeping head, as every dad in the world has done to his child. Just as I was fighting to keep my own composure, my son leans over to me and whispers “Daddy… I love you.”

You just don’t get that kind of thing from a Batman move.

-Dork Dad

 

Post Script – 24 hours later:

The debate has grown and taken on a life of its own. Here is a list of the relevant posts on the subject, all well worth your time:

wonder-womanProbably the most intelligent retort to the original premise… and it’s made by a woman (of course). Escaping Elegance made her position known (in defense of Superman) in her piece “Boys, boys… must we bicker?” but with an important addendum… Wonder Woman would likely do a better job than either of them.

 

 

 

2712662-670376_green_lantern___rebirth_06__2005___team_dcp__pg03_04_superAfter following the discussion, fellow dadblogger Eric Bolton felt compelled to tell us that we’re all crazy, and totally off the mark. He contends that as usual, the flashy 1st stringers get all the attention, when there’s another hero just outside the limelight (as opposed to emerald light) that deserves some consideration, with his post “Why Green Lantern is a Better Dad Than Batman AND Superman [Because No One Asked]”

 

batman-son-daddy-issuesCaptain of Team-Clark Kent’s Lunchbox, this is Ron Mattocks’s response to the question at hand. “A Letter To Batman From His Son” examines the long term effects on a child raised by The Dark Knight. The results aren’t pretty.

 

 

 

Screen-Shot-2013-06-09-at-4_13_07-PM-300x285Alan Kercinik, founding member of Team-Clark Kent’s Lunchbox, takes simultaneously an academic and viscerally emotional approach to the debate with his piece “6 Reasons Superman Would Be A Better Dad Than Batman”. As you might assume from the title, his feelings are pretty strong.

 

hywiv8JThe original post from the boys over at HowToBeADad. Their blog is a traffic-generating machine, so they don’t actually need any more hits via links from piddly little blogs like this one, but it’s the original post that sparked the debate. To understand the stakes involved you must first read the buffoonery “5 Reasons Batman Would Be A Better Dad Than Superman.”

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