Kortney, from Stay At Home Trauma has a DorkDad for a husband. He’s currently in a public speaking class, and she’s all proud of him. Here’s his latest class project:
This is my husband’s introduction speech for his public speaking class. I thought it would be a good opportunity for you all to meet him, and I’m also sending it over to Dork Daddy to further introduce his wonderful geekiness to the blogging community. I will likely post little bits he writes on here occasionally as he is much funnier than I am, and it might help keep you better entertained. Enjoy.
My name is Jake, and as a student I’m majoring in Sociology, but I also happen to be a 27 year old gamer. Now, before you make any assumptions, no I do not live in my mother’s basement – I live in her attic. All kidding aside, for the next few minutes I’m going to try and undo decades of stereotypes and labels that non-gamers have pigeonholed me and my gaming brethren into.
I play vigeo games several hours a week, which, if you ask you ask me isn’t nearly enough. But I still have to make room for full-time school and a full-time job, and still be the dorkiest father and husband that any family could hope to have. Sure, I can be a little unmotivated at times, but even with all of these responsibilities, just last night I was able to find time to save the entire galaxy from a race of sentient alien robots bent on destoying life as we know it. Hold the applause, you can thank me later.
In 1985, a bombshell rocked the world. No, I’m not talking about me being born, as fantastic as that was. What I’m talking about is the Nintendo Entertainment System starting to hit shelves worldwide. Some of my first memories are of my two and a half year old little brain being enthralled by pushing Mario across my TV screen while dodging Goombas. Thus began my addiction, and an earlier rendition of our current controllers became an extension of my grubby little hands.
I was like any other kid, running around in the mud and breaking stuff, but all of my childish bewilderment and imagination was augmented by video games. Soon, every birthday and Christmas list was filled with the newest games and the best machines. My appetite for gaming, to this day, is ravenous.
With video games having been such a major part of my life since childhood, that must mean that I am a sociopathic time bomb waiting to explode into fits of violent rage, right? If that sounds unreasonable to you, then apparently you are not aware of the laundry list of atrocities that many people have accredited to video games. The truth is that I am emotionally and mentally stable, and, yes, I can easily discern fantasy from reality – that’s exactly why I have an emergency evacuation plan in place for my family in the event of a zombie outbreak. And if you don’t, that makes you crazy, not me.
So, if I’m not a sociopathic time bomb waiting to explode into fits of violent rage, then I must just be a socially inept hermit with no friends. Guys, let me tell you – I have TONS of friends. My XBOX Live friends list is just brimming with friends who are waiting to jump into a team deathmatch with me right now. And before meeting my wife, I can promise you that I never made up any stories of having a level 49 elf mage hot French girlfriend. OK, maybe I said that once, but I’m pretty sure that my D&D buddies knew I was joking.
I won’t lie, guys. What I have is a true, unadulterated addiction. But does that mean that I must be a lazy slob stuffing my face with junk food? I am plenty motivated by real responsibilities. Heck, I think I even showered this week. And really, I think Ramen only makes up like, I don’t know, 30% of my diet at most.
Sure, I make geeky game references in adult conversations, but I’m not an idiot. If video games make you all of these things, then America is in for a world of hurt, because gaming has become the fastest growing entertainment media in the country. So, before you go around making remarks about video games being only for children or adult gamers being mindless drones, maybe you should figure out the company you keep.
And if any of you ladies out there happen to be princesses, please try to not get kidnapped by a large lizard until Saturday – I’ve got homework to do. And, for my sanity, try to be in the first castle I go to this time.