Tag Archives: parenting

Fan Fiction

6 May

letter My daughter is a girl growing up in a boy’s world. I try not to eclipse my wife’s influence with the kids, but let’s be honest – the beacon of my nerdiness shines a little (a lot) brighter than hers. What are the top-tier nerdisms that my family is bathed in? Comic books. Superheroes. Lord of the Rings. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Transformers, power tools, Legos, bike riding…

While raising my children I’ve made a point of teaching them that power tools are also for girls, and the kitchen is a great place to be a boy (although my own cooking skills are pathetic… definitely not leading by example here). But my daughter is still a girl, and as she navigates the world she has to find her own role-models, her own superheroes that she can relate to.

In the world of popular culture there are woefully few top-tier female superheroes out there for a girl to latch on to. Think about it. What options are there? Wonder Woman? They haven’t been able to manage a feature film, or even a television series since the Linda Carter days. Princess Leia? The princess herself is cool, but any true fandom leads to an investigation of the actor who plays the character. Have you seen Carrie Fisher lately? She’s a brilliant writer and public speaker… if she can stay sober long enough to string a sentence together.

It's not like we're going to see this movie any time soon.

It’s not like we’re going to see this movie any time soon.

For a girl looking for a hero to identify with the options are pretty slim. <<editor’s note: I should emphasize FANTASY hero, because Episode IV’s mommy is a pretty super-human role-model for any young lady to live up to>> But it seems that our little girl has finally settled on a candidate: Hermione Grainger (from the Harry Potter stories, for the unDorks out there).

Besides a passing physical resemblance, one of Hermione’s characteristics that Episode IV identifies with most is her academic success. We’re four books into the Harry Potter series and in every one Hermione is showered with praise as “the most gifted witch in her class” and she gets special favors from her professors because of it. My daughter also thrives in school, and lives off of the accolades that she gets there. Hermione excels at school where others struggle, and she’s always the voice of mature reason when Harry and Ron are about to do something stupid. Episode IV has two dopey younger brothers for whom she, like Hermione, often takes on the “responsible adult” role. Hermione avoids mischief when she can, but she also knows that once in a while a little mischief is necessary – and when she does it, she excels at it. If anything Episode IV is a little less averse to mischief than Hermione might be. In short, when my daughter sees Hermione, she sees herself.

hermione

Episode IV is also the sort of person who is constantly peaking behind the curtain. She loves the fantasy, but she never forgets that it’s actually fantasy. She always wants to know “how do they do that” when we’re watching movies. This line of thought naturally leads her to investigate the actor behind the character, and in this regard she relates even more. Emma Watson, at least publically, is a classy, well spoken, beautiful, educated young woman. She seems to have escaped the trappings of childhood fame. I’d much rather have my daughter cast her gaze in that direction, rather than… say… Kristen Stewart.

Friday afternoon Episode IV looked up at me and with frustration in her voice said “Daddy, I just… I wish…” She couldn’t find the words, but clearly there was something just below the surface she needed to get out. “Daddy… someday can I be in a Harry Potter movie?”

“Well, you never know, honey” I responded. “But I don’t think they’re going to be making any more Harry Potter movies for a very long time. They’ve already made all the books into movies.”

Her brow furrowed, stymied by the realities of the world that are beyond her control. But my daughter is nothing if not tenacious.

Saturday morning I woke up to find her hard at work at her art table, which in-and-of itself is nothing special. 1st graders have a lot of pent-up, creative energy they need to exercise. We’ve got stacks and stacks of her artwork we can’t bring ourselves to throw away. I stumbled through the morning, getting my coffee, getting the boys taken care of, figuring out the schedule for the day – the usual. Then from across the house at her art table I heard Episode IV say “There, Daddy. I’m done!”

What exactly had my academically precocious, Hermione-identifying 1st grade daughter done with her Saturday morning? It seems she had written a book, by which I mean a full-on book, complete with cover, title, illustrations, a table of contents, chapters and nuanced plot-points.

On her own, my daughter had written a Harry Potter book. She gleefully explained to me how Lucious Malfoy was the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, and how Hermione and Ron were keeping a secret from Harry that had something to do with his parents. She was all-in. She was invested. She poured everything she had into this brand new chapter in the Harry Potter saga…

…for the exclusive purpose of making another movie that she could star in as Hermione.

Take that, world where things are beyond her control. She wasn’t going to let a little thing like no-more-books get in her way. Bam! Now all we need is a director, studio-backing, and a sound stage.

I flipped through the book, amazed. This was incredible even for her sky-high standards. “That’s amazing, honey” I said. “I mean really. Wow.”

“Thanks, Daddy” she replied. “Can we make the movie now?”

-Dork Dad

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You’re The Fun One

18 Apr

letter This weekend UnDorkMommy said something to me that broke my heart.

First, a little context:

Three days earlier I came home late as I always do on Wednesdays, just as the kids were finishing up books and snuggles before bed. We’ve recently been edging ever closer to finishing “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” (remember, you can’t watch the movie unless you’ve read the book first). They can taste the finishline (and a new movie to watch), so they’ve been extra-special excited about bedtime reading lately. On Wednesdays UnDorkMommy has to handle the bedtime routine alone, and of course part of that is reading books to the big kids. We got the kids all tucked in and sat down to touch base as husband and wife. “So, how was your day teaching?” she asked.

Finishing up "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"

Finishing up “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”

“Fine, fine,” I replied. “Were the kids good tonight? How far did you get in Harry Potter?”

“We didn’t read Harry Potter. We read something else.”

“Really? Why not?”

She looked at me with disapointment in her eyes. “They told me they don’t want me to read Harry Potter to them anymore because I don’t do the voices like you do.”

***

For a little more context, fast forward to this Saturday:

This weekend was the local Mountain Bike Fair. We live in an outdoorsy place, so mountain bikes are kindof a big thing. It’s the sort of place where parents post on facebook “Just took Jr. for his/her first time on the pump track!” (For those people out of the know, a pump track is a dirt track with mounds, and moguls and banks etc). There’s a bike store near our house with some amazing pump tracks out back for all levels. We pass by the tracks whenever the family goes hiking and I’ve used the pump track as an incentive for the kids to learn how to ride their bikes.

“As soon as you’re good enough on your bike, I’ll take you to the pump track.”

Six or Seven months ago Episode IV finally got off her training wheels, and we’ve been working on getting her competence and confidence up to pump track levels. A few weeks ago Episode V finally got off his training wheels and we’ve been practicing out at the park every opportunity we get. To spur his interest and get him motivated I took him out to the Mountain Bike Fair to watch the pros go flying into the air X-games-style. I expected we’d be there about 30 minutes before his attention span puttered out and we’d be off to the next thing.

Nope.

So. Freaking. Rad.

So. Freaking. Rad.

It was like walking into Disneyland for the first time. We weren’t there for 5 minutes before he spotted the bunny-hill pump track just for little kids that they built specifically for this event. That was that. We walked back to the car, got his bike out of the back and three hours later we’d watched the pro aeronautics, gone on the kids’ pump track (twice), ridden a real off-road trail, checked out all the vendors, sat on a hay bale eating pizza and popsicles watching a racing event, and acquired some impressive sunburns. In short, it was amazing! He even got a medal. Episode V and I came home totally pumped (no pun intended), totally exhausted and totally overstimulated.

“OhmygoddidyouseethewaythoseguysflewintheairIcan’tbelieveyoudidthepump-trackforthefirsttimewasn’titawesomeIcan’twaittogodoitagain!!!”

We spent the second half of Saturday at the park with the whole family. The two big kids practiced off-roading on their bikes with me coaching and cheering them on, and UnDorkMommy spent most of her energy keeping Episode VI from eating sand and getting run over by his older siblings. By the end of the day everyone was exhausted, and all three kids went to bed relatively easily. After Episode IV was asleep, my wife came down the hall and walked up behind me as I was checking my Email. She put her hand on my shoulder. I could tell something was weighing on her heart. That’s when she said it.

“You know, sometimes it’s really tough” she said, a tremor in her voice. ”…keeping up with you. Sometimes it’s really hard. You’re the fun one. I just can’t compete with that”

…

I had absolutely no idea what to say.

I wanted to say something comforting, something reassuring. I love her so much. I could appreciate how she was feeling, and how an idea like that could hurt once it took root. I wanted to be there for her – to say something meaningful that would put her at ease, reaffirm how amazing she is, how amazing and important she is to the kids. I should have been able to do that for her. But the words… the idea behind them… and the notion that I could be the root of that pain…

I fumbled.

There is no way anyone could describe UnDorkMommy as anything other than “fun”. She’s incredibly fun. She just isn’t a dork. She has no idea how to be a dork. It just isn’t in her DNA. Before we had kids she used to make fun of me and say “Man, you are a dork!”

And I used to respond with, “Yep. But someday our kids are really going to appreciate it.” It would seem that perhaps that prophecy has come true.

Sorry, kids. This is your daddy.

Sorry, kids. This is your daddy.

Let’s be clear, my wife is the most important, most amazing, most crucial element of this entire family. When I’m off figuring out how to get an arcade game into my house, she’s the one making sure the kids are having a healthy lunch. When I’m spending my time writing blog posts, she’s the one arranging their extracurricular schedules. She’s the one who makes sure they have a sweater when they leave the house. She’s the one who makes the sandwiches for their lunch just the way they like ‘em. She’s the one who plans and makes dinners every night. She’s the one who gets them on time to doctor’s appointments, and swim lessons, and play dates. She’s the one who makes sure the milk in the fridge isn’t sour. She’s the one who makes sure their bedsheets are clean, that they take their medicine and that they play nicely with one another.

She’s the last person the kids want to see before they go to sleep. She’s the first person they want to see when they wake up. If they have a bad dream in the middle of the night, it’s her body they need to feel next to theirs that makes the monsters go away (and all that stuff goes for me as well).

Sure, I’m the one who does the epic lego marathons. I’m the one who knows all the words to all the Disney songs. I’m the one who does the lightsaber fights and dances to “Gungnam Style” in the livingroom. But when there’s a scrape on the knee, it’s her kisses that have the healing magic. On a rainy day it’s the cookies she makes that turn everything around. When someone is sick, it’s her arms they crawl into for comfort. She is the rock-center, the core, the heart of our family. She nourished those children in her belly. She birthed them. She nursed them as infants from her own body. She dedicates every waking moment to nurturing them as children and to helping them grow into compassionate, confident, amazing human beings.

How can I compete with that?

The truth is all this dorkiness, all this childlike buffoonery… it’s all for show.

I’m a dancing bear at the circus making a fool of myself in front of my children because – That’s. All. I’ve. Got.

It’s a desperate act to be relevent in the lives of my kids because ultimately the short-lived sugar rush of dessert isn’t what sustains you the way Mommy’s healthy meal does. It isn’t what keeps you alive. Sure, I have my role to play in nurturing our children. Sure, their lives are enriched because I’m demostrative, I’m involved in their lives and I’m totally invested in the family. Yes, their lives are immeasurably better because I love them so much.

But compared to the absolutely crucial, nourishing, healthy, dependable, selfless love that they get from their mother — the nourishment that none of us in this family, myself included, could live without — I have to put on the superhero T-shirts. I have to build the zip-lines in the backyard. I have to make the Transformer Halloween costumes from scratch. I have to do the voices when I read Harry Potter.

Because in all honesty, compared to my wife, I just can’t compete.

mommy

-Dork Dad

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Virality

16 Apr

letter I made a deal with myself when I started blogging: If I ever blogged about blogging I was going to hang it up. Surely that would be the harbinger indicating I no longer had anything interesting to talk about, at which point I should graciously bow out of the game entirely and fade into history, as opposed to joining the Kansas City Chiefs for a couple lackluster final blogging seasons *coughjoemontanacough*

20thingsdaughterRecently the “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Daughter” post from a few months ago went completely (and unexpectedly) viral, and some pretty rewarding things happened as a result. Just this once I’m going to break my blogging-about-blogging rule and share a little about the experience. There’s a really cool family-related story at the end, so I hope you’ll stick with it.

***

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to create something that went viral (shout-out to my buddy Ron Fugelseth, who’s “A Toy Train In Space” set the standard for dorky-dad virality) – not out of some self-centered egomaniacal trip, but because the mechanics of virality (is that even a word?) fascinate me. If I was a sociology or media-studies grad student I would make that the topic of my thesis (tip-o-the-hat to fellow dadbloggers Ande Davis and Zach Rosenberg who have strong feelings about the value of a liberal arts degree).

Using my blog as a vehicle I’ve made a few half-hearted, cartoony things that in the back of my mind I thought had the potential to go viral. Over the 2012 holidays I put this one out there, quite impressed with myself and my own cleverness:

Know your Elves.

Know your Elves.

Dobby-the-House-Elf

How could I forget Dobby?

…until I realized what an epic fail it was because I neglected to include this culturally-critical elf. Virality-factor: zero.

When Muppeteer Jerry Nelson (Count Von Count) and Neil Armstrong died in the same week, I pushed my graphics skills to the max and put this one out there in cyber-space.

RIP Jerry Nelson, Anakin Skywalker, Yoda, Ben Kenobi, Neil Armstrong

RIP Jerry Nelson, Anakin Skywalker, Yoda, Ben Kenobi, Neil Armstrong

Perhaps the Jerry Nelson reference was too obscure. Again, virality-factor zero.

Over the holiday, while blogging about how I ordered my children’s Xmas gifts from the Skymall catalogue from the back of an airplane seat, I riffed off of the latest James Bond movie with this little ditty, again completely impressed with myself and convinced that other people would be too:

James Bond in "Skymall"

James Bond in “Skymall”

Virality-factor, 00-nothing.

Of course you can’t will these things into virality. It has to happen on its own – organically. Dorkdaddy.com has had a few brushes with virality in the past. The first was January last year when Adam Savage retweeted a tweet I sent him about a post I wrote talking about science programs on TV. 1,700 hits on the blog that day. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Then, earlier this year, WordPress.com featured (freshly pressed) my post “It’s Just Sex, Dammit!” on their home page and suddenly my iPhone exploded with a constant stream of comments from dawn to dusk. Just under 3,000 hits that day and I was sure my little blog would never pass those numbers. Then last week, this happened:

stats

Before this week the range on my hit-counter graph never needed to go above 3000 before. On Monday, a day when I published absolutely no new material, DorkDaddy.com topped out at over 6,700 hits – completely blowing its previous record out of the water. As the graph shows, most of the hits were happening on “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Daughter”.

To be honest, I knew that post had legs shortly after I published it. Within days it had been shared more than 200 times from this blog’s Facebook page. I was getting notifications that it was moving all over Pinterest and it got all sorts of attention when I published it on Good Men Project along with the companion piece “20 Things A Father Should Tell His Son”.

Then something odd happened. The Facebook page “Ace Your Figure” posted it to their wall, and from there it exploded (Ace Your Figure has significantly more followers than DorkDaddy.com’s Facebook page). Suddenly I was getting messages from friends who’d seen the picture/post months and months ago when I originally posted it “Hey. Check out what came back around the other end of Facebook!!” The picture itself isn’t some stock photo I stole from a google image search. It’s actually a picture of me and Episode IV. Friends of mine who don’t follow the blog recognized the picture from someone else’s news feed and asked me “Hey. Isn’t this a picture of you and your daughter?”

The post had gone completely beyond my sphere of influence and was now freely circulating, completely organically, through the Facebook ether. Even as I write this I just fielded a phone call from my wife. A girlfriend texted to tell her that an old college friend just posted the picture on her Facebook wall, and my wife’s girlfriend recognized me and my daughter in it.

It had gone viral.

***

Now the fact that something I made went viral is nice and all, but here’s the cool story where it all comes home.

Part of the miracle of Facebook is connecting with distant friends and relatives who in the past would have been completely lost to the fog of time and distance spent apart. My mother’s recently been very excited about reconnecting with some distant cousins of hers. It’s opened up a floodgate to wonderful childhood memories and emotional connections to long-passed loved-ones, memories that were heretofore packed away and almost forgotten. My mother looked forward to seeing news from her long-lost distant cousins show up on her laptop when she opened up Facebook.

And then, last week out of nowhere, the “20 Things” picture showed up on my mother’s newsfeed, shared by her long-lost cousin who she hasn’t seen in 30 years. My mother commented on her cousin’s post, “Where did you get that picture?”

“A friend posted it” the cousin replied.

“Do you know who that is in that picture?” asked my mother.

“No. I just liked the message, so I shared it.”

“That’s my beautiful granddaughter and her father, my handsome son.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No. He’s the dorky dad who wrote that. He blogs about being a dorky dad and that was one of his posts.”

Promptly thereafter DorkDaddy.com’s Facebook wall received this message:

cousin

In what universe does your 2nd cousin once removed, someone you’ve never met or even heard of before, contact you over the internet because of a picture you posted of you and your daughter more than 4 months earlier?

It’s a brave new world. Welcome to the age of social media.

-Dork Dad

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Sins Of The Father

18 Mar

letter In days gone by, I used to be able to wear a tux – and I mean *WEAR* a tux; not in the awkward way a prom-goer wears a tux when he has to put the plastic shoes on for the odd formal event. No, I could wear a tux with confidence and style. When other 20-somethings were figuring out the difference between a cummerbund and a boutonnière, I was bringing sexy back, channeling Connery and Bogart with the classic white jacket and red carnation.

Me and my dear friend Cindy at her sorority formal.

Me and my dear friend Cindy at her sorority formal.

So when the elementary school had a James Bond-themed fundraiser event, I knew exactly what direction I was going. UnDorkMommy went totally Bond-girl in a va-va-VOOM dress, showing off her endless legs with a slit all the way up to her ear, and I went to Men’s Warehouse to rent my trusty standby, the look that had done so well for me many times before.

Formal attire on, grandma babysitter firmly in place, my knockout, Bond-girl wife and I went out for a fantastic night of dinner, drinks, live-auctioning (won the party of 4, behind-the-scenes tour of Pixar Studios thankyouverymuch) and dancing until we dropped. We had a fabulous time laughing with other repressed moms and dads who obviously needed a night out as much as we did. There was a professional photographer on site and I looked forward to getting a great shot of me and UnDorkMommy all decked-out, doing our cheezy Bondesque poses against a cheezy Bondesque background.

Heading out.

Heading out.

I knew I was in trouble when I tried on the tux at Men’s Warehouse and I needed freakin’ suspenders. SUSPENDERS!!!

Good evening.

Good evening.

The pictures came up this weekend, and as expected UnDorkMommy looked *AMAZING*. But who was that guy she was standing next to? That tuxedo-clad, balding, portly dude with all the chins didn’t look anything like James Bond. He looked more like… Alfred Hitchcock (and no, I’m not going to post a picture).

Ultimately I could live with all the self-loathing that comes from the middle-aged metabolism shut-down, but I’ve got kids. I can make all the “King of Queens” and Alfred Hitchcock jokes I want. At some point I need to man-up and figure it out. It ain’t about me.

Specifically, I’ve got a son who worships the ground I walk on. He takes all his social cues from me. He sets his priorities to my priorities. He hangs on every word I say and adopts as many of my mannerisms as he can for his own. Clearly whatever patterns he falls into as he gets older will be influenced in no small way by the example that I set in his life. My wife pointed it out a few weeks ago. Look at the things Episode V’s aptitudes are swinging towards. These are the things he thinks are super cool:

Legos / Science / Comic Books / Video Games / Music / Movies

And where did he learn about these things? Who reinforces the cool-factor for those things? In every single instance, who opened Pandora’s box? Me. And none of those interests particularly involve cardio. For a kid who naturally skews towards the lazy direction, that’s a concern.

T-ball

T-ball

If my son’s childhood plays out the way mine did, he’ll be an active kid just by virtue of the realities of being a kid. His parents will sign him up for after-school sports and summer camps. He’ll spend plenty of time running around, doing normal kid stuff, learning life lessons from his father along the way, and he’ll enjoy the 0% body-fat that comes along with a supercharged metabolism that lasts through high school…

…when his patterns are set.

My job as his father is to use that incredibly potent power to influence his interests for good. My fear is that I will unwittingly steer them in the wrong direction. Growing up it never occurred to me that living a healthy lifestyle was something that took a lot of work. My own father was certainly too busy tending to our needs to pay attention to his own, a lesson I learned well from him and have apparently carried into my own parenthood.

And so I have made a choice. I have recommitted myself to being an example of an active, healthy lifestyle for my children. I have recommitted to the notion that no matter what, every single weekend will involve doing something outside, something physical with my children (OK, the golf clubs I got them didn’t encourage much cardio, but it was still outside and physical). But more than that, I looked into my soul and realized how important it is for my kids to see ME being active, eating right, exercising.

I fully endorse this sort of activity.

I fully endorse this sort of activity.

So last week I set up the goddamn treadmill in the garage. On both Saturday and Sunday I made a point of announcing to the kids “OK, Daddy’s going out to the garage to exercise” and heaved my fat ass up onto the goddamn machine for a solid 30 minutes of cardio, determined to be a good example for my kids.

And then something happened that I did not expect.

Suddenly I looked over my shoulder and realized that my son was there behind me, sitting quietly in a chair. He was just sitting there with his Jellycat. “Hey buddy,” I said, suddenly sucking it up so as not to let on to the 4 year old in the room how desperately out of shape I am. “You OK?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “I’m just watching you.” He was sitting there, watching me… watching me setting a good example purely for his benefit.

Who knows if my exercising will plant any seeds in his mind? Who knows if he’ll want to be like me past his 5th birthday? Who knows if I’m doing anything right at all as a parent? I’ve been bitching about being a fatass for years now, and I’ve never been able to find the motivation to do something about it. But in the past it was always about me.

If I can’t do it for me, I have to do it for them.

 

-Dork Dad

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A Brief Brief on Briefs

19 Feb

letter In October of 2012, Tom Burns over at 8bitdad.com blew the roof off of the girls underwear industry by declaring that he buys boys briefs for his daughter “so that she can wear the characters she’s interested in”. Apparantly “Brave” and “Hello Kitty” hold the lion’s share of the shelf space at supermarkets, leaving little room for superheros. Is you might imagine, the story touched a nerve and was quickly distributed through the entire interwebs by The Good Men Project and Huffington Post. People were espeically vocal about the issue. Burns wrote:

Largely, I’ve been pleased with the debate the article inspired, including over  800 comments at Huffington Post. (I’ve been less happy with the comments  alleging that my underwear permissiveness has forever transformed my daughter  into a sissified deviant, but I’ve been on the internet long enough to  expect—and mildly enjoy—that kind of reaction.)

girls-underwear2

Naturally efforts were made to follow up with marketing representatives from Target, Walmart and their ilk… with little to no response. Superheros haven’t been represented in the girls underwear industry since the good old Underoos days. But enough ruckus was made that eventually Fruit of the Loom reached out to Burns to let him know that they’d heard the complaints and had recently licensed for producing DC character themed girls underwear, and would launch the line in January of 2013. Although the launch was briefly delayed, they did eventually release their girls superohero underwear for online orders in February…

…and sold out in 24 hours.

Naturally Fruit of the Loom recalculated and have restocked their wearhouse. If your daughter is into superheros, you can buy your little superheroine all the non-Hello-Kitty briefs she wants/needs at this link right here.

tumblr_lzv6r1hNHR1qmho7ko1_400

As irony would have it I approached my 6-year-old daughter and asked her “Hey honey, would you like me to get you some girls superhero underwear?”

“Um, no thanks Daddy. I like the underwear I have.”

Ah well. At least she was honest.

429241_10150601404267285_1159265785_nI’m not generally an “activist” about most things, but when it comes to empowering my daughter to be whoever she wants to be, gender roles or no, I’m all over this one. The good news is there’s no shortage of superhero underwear in the boys aisle. My son has ‘em all. It doesn’t look like I’ll have to buy girls underwear for him to wear.

And incidentally, if you’re looking for other sources to outfit your young feminine superhero, head on over to SuperheroStuff.com. They’re fantastic about stocking merchandise for little girls.

GIRL POWER!!

-Dork Dad

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When To Expose Your Kids To Star Wars – A White Paper

14 Feb

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO EXPOSE YOUR KIDS TO STAR WARS?

D. Daddy, R Maddocks, Z Rosenberg, A Kercinik, R Fugelseth, S Behson, J Zahn, A Davis, C Gaddis, DN Charge, T Reed, B Father, Bill, C Routly, DOT Run, T Burns, PP Dad, T Rogers, H Elliss 

Discipline of Fatherhood, Dorkery and the Greater Blogging Sciences

Dad Bloggers University, Facebook USA

ABSTRACT:

Background and Overview: The influence of the Star Wars movies – and franchise as a whole – on popular culture is beyond dispute. Many, if not most marketing efforts are aimed at young children and they respond enthusiastically. Moreover, today’s generation of young parents grew up with the Star Wars franchise themselves and eagerly anticipate sharing their love of that material with their children. But conscientious parents also take note of some very adult subject in those movies, and thought needs to be given towards when is the appropriate time to expose a child to those images. No definitive answer has been offered beyond the “PG” rating by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). Most parents agree those guidelines are nebulous at best.

Nineteen conscientious, actively blogging fathers were assembled and asked to respond to the question “What is the right age to expose your kids to Star Wars?”

Nineteen conscientious, actively blogging fathers were assembled and asked to respond to the question “What is the right age to expose your kids to Star Wars?” Subjects were given full latitude as to the tone and content of their responses, and were asked only to keep those responses to a reasonable length. The results were assembled in this paper, in order to offer the internet, and the worldwide parenting community some guidance when considering when to expose children to Star Wars.

Conclusion: Fathers answers ranged from “in the womb” to “never”, with an average suggested age of somewhere between 5 and 6. Fathers also cited innumerable variables to take into consideration which were not consistent from child to child, or from family to family. There was concensus among the sampled fathers that exposure should be determined on a child-by-child basis, taking into account that child’s emotional, intillectual and social development, and always under parental supervision.

Methodology:

My daughter's 5th birthdayDork Daddy of DorkDaddy.com

Reccomended Age: 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

I don’t want my child the only one at the lunch table who doesn’t know what an X-wing fighter is, but I don’t want to field phonecalls from angry parents because my child was making a big deal about hacking, slashing, killing and shooting (kissing your sister)… for the full article click here

***

Ron MattocksRon Mattocks of ClarkKentsLunchbox

Reccomended Age: 4-5

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

I’ve been fascinated with Star Wars since age 5 when A New Hope came out. Ironically, I never actually was allowed to see the first two movies until my teens. Our family’s church had a strict policy against supporting the devil’s “magic talking pictures”… for the full article click here

***

zachZach Rosenberg of 8bitDad

Reccomended Age: Any age, with parental guidance

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

This is a tough question. On one hand, you’ve got the by-the-numbers rule: they’re, for the most part, PG movies, which means “”Parental Guidance Suggested.”" So, that being said, as long as there’s a parent, you should be good. But on the other hand, there’s a whole lot of violence in the original trilogy… for the full article click here

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KercinikAlan Kercinik of AlwaysJacked

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: I like both but if I have to pick, Star Wars

There are parents, perfectly reasonable people in probably most other respects, who would suggest that I have exposed Jack to entertainments that are not age appropriate. So far, he has seen The Princess Bride and The Karate Kid (Macchio, not Smith) multiple times. To the point that he can recite dialog. He has, only a couple of times, play attacked the dog, saying, “”Take that ROUS!”" Really. Play attack. Next on our list is Star Wars… for the full article click here

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fugelsethRon Fugelseth of A Toy Train In Space

Reccomended Age: 4 1/2

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

The first time I watched Star Wars was some time before the age of 5, and it marked the beginning of a magical time in my young life. Now that I have a son who is 4 1/2, going on 5, I figure he is now the same age I was so why not introduce him to something that was such an integral part of my childhood. Of course before I could even show him the film, he had already figured out how to turn every stick and cardboard paper towel tube into a lightsaber… for the full article click here

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besonScott Behson of Fathers, Work And Family

Reccomended Age: 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars, geez is that even a question…

I’m a planner by nature, and I think the world is in a rush to have our kids grow up too fast. So, I delayed Star Wars until Nick was 6 (he’s now 7 ½). I LOVE Star Wars and wanted him to love it too- I figured premature exposure may ruin it… for the full article click here

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james zahnJames Zahn aka The Rock Father

Reccomended Age: 2 1/2

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: STAR WARS

Although I wasn’t even four years old at the time, I distinctly remember seeing EMPIRE on the big screen. Taking a page from my own upbringing, I’d say by age three all children should be required to view STAR WARS… for the full article click here

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ande davisAnde Davis of & Squatch Makes Three

Reccomended Age: Maybe 4. Maybe 28.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Marvel ((editor’s note for Ande: Marvel is owned by Disney… as is Star Wars. Ande narrowly escapes execution on this one))

I didn’t see any of the Star Wars movies as a whole, straight-through, until I saw Episode III in the theater with my wife’s family. I had no idea what was going on. I saw the first two movies (Episodes IV and V) for the first time when I was 28… for the full article click here

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Carter GaddisCarter Gaddis of Dadscribe

Reccomended Age: 4-8, depending on the kid

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

My wife and I decided that our older son was ready for Episode IV (or most of it, anyway) when he was IV. Now, there were caveats. I fast-forwarded through the Vader strangulation scene at the beginning, as well as the severed arm and Greedo’s death at the hands of Han in the cantina scene… for the full article click here

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dadnchargeDadNCharge of dadncharge.com

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

Much to the chagrin of my wife, I started showing my son the Star Wars series when he was four which was in 2009. Even though I still don’t like the first three movies over the last three, and any self respecting Star Wars fan will say so, I still thought he should see the movies in order so as to not confuse him… for the full article click here

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Dad-Loves-Movies_squareTodd Reed of dadlovesmovies.com

Reccomended Age: In The Womb

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Both, but personally lean a little more Trek, but Star Wars is more kid-friendly.  I’ve been using it as a gateway drug and am now starting him on the original Star Trek series.

Q: When is is appropriate to expose your kids to Star Wars?

A: The womb… for the full article click here

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BloggerFatherBloggerFather from bloggerfather.com

Reccomended Age: 3, no 4, no 5… *sigh* maybe 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Trek

I tried when my son was 3. It was a very exciting day. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it past “The Red People” — the robot traders ((editor’s note: Jawas)). Maybe the nerds have a more accurate name for them, but in our house they’re known as “The Red People… for the full article click here

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ihopeiwinatoasterBill from ihopeiwinatoaster

Reccomended Age: Never

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Mayberry, RFD

I have to think about Star Wars again.  I don’t really want to, but, our American zeitgeist – think LEGOs and Saturday cartoons and models and the constant quoting and referencing and the endless “iconic” imagery – and the fact that I have nearly eight-year-old twin boys, makes it an imperative.  I am not happy about it… for the full article click here

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chris roultryChris Routly of daddydoctrines.com

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“My general thought is that “”exposure”" to Star Wars can start from, well, birth. I mean, no harm in dressing your infant up like Yoda, or giving your toddler a stuffed Jawa, right? The Big Question for me is when I should sit down my boys to start watching the movies… for the full article click here

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ontherunDad On The Run from the blog of the same name.

Reccomended Age: 5 or 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: What is this Star Trek you speak of?

My wife and I started discussing this early on, and when our oldest was a toddler we imagined that 5 or 6 would be a good age to begin training her in the ways of the force. Fast forward a few years and we are there… for the full article click here

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tom burnsTom Burns of buildingalibrary.com

Reccomended Age: 6 +/-

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: I visit both camps, but spent more time at Camp Star Wars as a child

“For me, trying to figure out the appropriate age to expose your kids to Star Wars is all about knowing your kid and knowing how they react to violence and death. I’m not saying that A New Hope is on par with a Tarantino movie when it comes to murder and mayhem, but, despite the fantasy trappings of the Star Wars universe, there is some really awful stuff that happens in the movies… for the full article click here

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postpostPost Postmodern Dad from postpostmoderndad.com

Reccomended Age: 7-9

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Formerly both but now? Doctor Who

7-ish for Star Wars. 8 or 9 for Empire Strikes Back and then everything else can follow… for the full article click here

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greedoThomas Rogers, Awkward Story Dad of awkwardstory.com

Reccomended Age: 6, possibly 7

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

One day in the distant future, I will be called into my son’s school for a parent conference. A secretary will inform me via phone that my child has been sent to the principal’s office for inappropriate behavior. When I arrive, a polite school administrator will invite me to sit down next to the adorable monster that looks like me, and ask the little guy to explain himself… for the full article click here

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henryellissHenry Elliss of Henry’s Blog

Reccomended Age: 6 or 7

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Mainly Star Wars, but JJ’s reboot has made me pretty bipartisan now.

“I just asked my 4-year-old son Robert, “When do you think you’ll be old enough to watch Star Wars with Daddy?”, to which he replied “Hmmm, when I am 6 or 7. They’re too scary for me now”… for the full article click here

The full-text articles can be found below.

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My daughter's 5th birthdayDork Daddy of DorkDaddy.com

Reccomended Age: 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

When Star Wars was released on May 25th, 1977 I was a 3 ½ year old boy. In the following years, between the action figures and the lunchboxes and the underoos, I was completely indoctrinated. In those formative years how could I not be? Growing up in that era, Star Wars is part of my DNA. It is inextricably fused with most of the awesome memories of my childhood. Naturally any loving father wants to share the things he loves with his children, so it was never really a question that my children would grow up with Star Wars too. That said, the real question is “when” and “how” to expose them to it, and there is not easy answer.

My son with the old Xwing toy his dad gave him after watching Star Wars. What sort of dork saves his old Star Wars toys for 30 years to give to his kids?

My son with the old Xwing toy his dad gave him after watching Star Wars. What sort of dork saves his old Star Wars toys for 30 years to give to his kids?

On the one hand, Star Wars is just rad. It makes for awesome playtime with your kids, whether it’s fantasy make-believe roleplaying, or epic lightsaber battles out in the backyard. I’ve got an entire attic full of all my old Star Wars toys I’ve saved lo these many decades that I can’t wait to pass down to my kids. I’m excited about it, like a kid waiting for Christmas. These things make me want to show them Star Wars earlier. But then there are the adult themes that come along with Star Wars – gunplay, smouldering corpses, hacking off various limbs, a young boy losing his family. There’s no need to expose children to those ideas any earlier than you have to. I’m not interested in having over-sheltered children, but I do want them to keep their childhood innocence as long as they can. These thoughts give me pause, and good reason to wait to expose my kids to Star Wars. Then there’s the social-competency factor – kids at school. I don’t want my child the only one at the lunch table who doesn’t know what an X-wing fighter is, but I don’t want to field phonecalls from angry parents because my child was making a big deal about hacking, slashing, killing and shooting (kissing your sister). I think any responsible parent thinks about this stuff.

My wife and I had the conversation early. We agreed that we would wait until the kids were 6 before showing them the movies. I’m sad to say in a moment of weakness last year I broke the covenant of trust with my wife and showed the original movie to my then 3 ½ year old son. It was an awesome father/son day – totally a net-positive for him. But I got lucky. As young as he was, he missed a lot of the details. To this day when conversation turns to how Darth Vader was trying to kill his own son, my sensitive boy chokes up and says holding back tears “I don’t want to talk about that, Daddy.” With my eldest I did manage to wait until she was 6, showing her the entire trilogy in 10 minute intervals during bedtime snuggles. I have to say that was ideal. Everything about that experience felt right. She was the perfect age for all of it, and the experience for both of us was amazing. Those are two success stories, but I also have some experience with ultimate failure, when I exposed my son to certain Star Wars elements before he was ready. Worst. Parenting. Day. Ever. (Read about it here: part 1, part 2).

Ultimately, unless you raise your kids in the wilderness, you can’t avoid Star Wars. It isn’t a question of whether or not to expose them to it, it’s a question of when and how. If you’re on the conservative side, inevitably Star Wars will start creeping up in your kids life before they’ve seen the actual movies. There are plenty of acceptable gateway drugs into the Star Wars universe before exposure to the movies themselves. T-shirts, lunchboxes, cartoons, legos (especially the legos… I can’t rave about them enough)… all are fantastic ways to introduce your child to Star Wars. For my part, both my older kids had a positive experience, even if I jumped the gun with the younger one. Ultimately, as with all things parenting, it’s about knowing your children – knowing what they’re capable of digesting, how prepared they are for certain life lessons etc. Then, when the time comes, it’s about sitting down with them, holding their hand, and being there to share the experience with them.
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Ron MattocksRon Mattocks of ClarkKentsLunchbox

Reccomended Age: 4-5

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“I’ve been fascinated with Star Wars since age 5 when A New Hope came out. Ironically, I never actually was allowed to see the first two movies until my teens. Our family’s church had a strict policy against supporting the devil’s “magic talking pictures.” I did, however, watch the premier of Return of the Jedi after the neighbor lady took me and her nephew, thus starting me on a road of iniquity and ruin. It was worth it.

I suppose it’s in this context that I determined to share my fondness of Star Wars with my children early on. When my oldest was 5 I introduced him to Episode I. Despite Jar Jar Binks’ high-pitched yapping, my son was hooked and, having seen every movie and played every video game since, he still is at age 14. (Right now he’s working through the Old Republic game while giving me the play-by-play.)

When Attack of the Clones came out I took him and his younger brother, who was around 4 to see it at the theater. Although he enjoyed all the action, my second born wasn’t quite as enthralled as his brother. He did, however, like the action figures and age-appropriate video games (i.e. Star Wars LEGOS). My third son came along shortly before Revenge of the Sith was released. On this final installment, I was a little more cautious because of the movie’s rating and graphic ending.  Eventually, though, I did let them watch Anakin’s descent when the movie came out on DVD. Sadly, son number three, who’s is now 8, announced to me over Christmas he no longer wanted anymore Star Wars stuff. I was crushed.

Then there were my stepdaughters who I took to see the Clone Wars movie at ages 6 and 7. They were immediately fascinated—of course the cross-dressing Hutt with a Truman Capote voice made for a lot of question, but in any case, they were bona-fide geeks from that moment on.  Episode III also made for some interesting questions such as, why did Anakin hurt his wife Padme and who thought it a good idea to leave Jar Jar unsupervised in the Galactic Senate. (Like WTF?)

Ultimately, in response to the question of when is a good age to introduce your children to Star Wars, I can’t answer that for everyone. Parenting is a personal endeavor. In other words, what might be okay for one family might not for another, and there’s nothing wrong with that. For our family, we tend to expose our children to some things early. However, we also talk to them about it too in order to help them understand choices and consequences. There certainly is a lot of opportunity for this in a galaxy far, far away. ”

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zachZach Rosenberg of 8bitDad

Reccomended Age: Any age, with parental guidance

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“This is a tough question. On one hand, you’ve got the by-the-numbers rule: they’re, for the most part, PG movies, which means “”Parental Guidance Suggested.”" So, that being said, as long as there’s a parent, you should be good.

But on the other hand, there’s a whole lot of violence in the original trilogy (we’re not even venturing into the prequels yet). Vader and Luke cut each others’ hands off, Luke beheads Vader in that weird acid trip in Dagobah, tons of people are shot, including Ewoks. Many Bothans died to bring the Rebel Alliance their information. You get the idea.

Problematically, the prequels are – I hate to say this – more attractive to modern kids. The original trilogy looks, well, old. But the new trilogy (which also includes the PG-13 – and for good reason – “”Revenge of the Sith”") is visually more in-line with what kids see elsewhere. In any event, the prequels are a lot more violent.

And then there’s the toy industry. Star Wars toys everywhere. Try to have a birthday party for your son and not receive something Star Warsy.

All of this being said, most of the movies can be enjoyed by kids of any age, with parental guidance. Sit with your kids, watch the movies and shield them or distract them during the more explicit scenes. But each kid is different. The original Star Wars trilogy offers a great way to open up conversations about fathers and children through the Vader/Luke/Leia story. It also can open up the good-and-evil-grey-areas talk. And, if nothing else, it’s a movie with a lot of cool space stuff. I don’t know if I can quantify an age. But the key is to share it with your children responsibly, which means off of an old VHS so you know you’ve got the non-edited movies where Han Solo shoots first.”

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KercinikAlan Kercinik of AlwaysJacked

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: I like both but if I have to pick, Star Wars

“Jack is my oldest son. He is not yet four.

There are parents, perfectly reasonable people in probably most other respects, who would suggest that I have exposed Jack to entertainments that are not age appropriate. So far, he has seen The Princess Bride and The Karate Kid (Macchio, not Smith) multiple times. To the point that he can recite dialog. He has, only a couple of times, play attacked the dog, saying, “”Take that ROUS!”" Really. Play attack.

Next on our list is Star Wars. I asked my wife for the Blu-Ray of the original trilogy. She came through. She knows that movies are our thing and indulges me in sharing these geeky things with my son. I think we’ll hold it to Star Wars for now. Empire is so great, but that’s a nightmare maker. Luke fighting Vader in the swamp, then seeing his own face? Man, that still creeps me out.

The thing is, Jack is, I think, older than his years. I’m not saying that every kid could handle that movie at 4. But this one can. He’s thoughtful and curious and likes stories of good and evil. I’m very much heartened that he always always always wants to be the good guy.

If your kid wants to know about why people do what they do and asks you questions about God and doesn’t like when people do mean and bad things, then  s/he’s ready. And Star Wars is a hell of a lot better than some of those fairy tales we’re supposed to read kids. I mean, witches and gingerbread houses? ”

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fugelsethRon Fugelseth of A Toy Train In Space

Reccomended Age: 4 1/2

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“I love this subject as Star Wars was such a large part of my childhood. The first time I watched Star Wars was some time before the age of 5, and it marked the beginning of a magical time in my young life. Now that I have a son who is 4 1/2, going on 5, I figure he is now the same age I was so why not introduce him to something that was such an integral part of my childhood. Of course before I could even show him the film, he had already figured out how to turn every stick and cardboard paper towel tube into a lightsaber.

Ron's son Jayden watching his dad's VHS.

Ron’s son Jayden watching his dad’s VHS.

A few months ago, I took my son over to my parent’s house (the same house I grew up in), and there I saw it…the old VHS tape my mom had recorded Star Wars onto back in the 80′s, still collecting dust on the bookshelf I had retrieved it from when I was a child. Just seeing it there on the shelf took me back to being a kid again. I immediately ran to my old bedroom and grabbed some figures and a ship from my Star Wars toy collection (still at my parent’s house), and sat down with my son in front of the TV. Yes, it’s true, my parents STILL have a VHS player, so we were in luck. I sat there on the living room floor watching the classic HBO logo animation, once again mesmerized by the sight of the Star Destroyer drifting across the screen as if I was 5 years old again. There he stood in all his glory, Darth Vader coming through the burnt hatch…it was breathtaking.

I will admit, a 30 year old VHS tape that’s been watched 100 times doesn’t hold up as well as one may have expected. The desert scenes looked like snow, and the audio sounded like an AM radio. But, being able to watch an unadulterated version of Star Wars without the “”improved scenes”" George added in the 90′s seemed like more of an authentic experience. Maybe we didn’t make it through the whole film, but my son and I eagerly gathered several of my old figures to take home so he could start his own collection. Since that day, every time I nearly kill myself tripping over those toys in his room (and all over the house), I am reminded that I made the right decision.”

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besonScott Behson of Fathers, Work And Family

Reccomended Age: 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars, geez is that even a question…

“I’m a planner by nature, and I think the world is in a rush to have our kids grow up too fast. So, I delayed Star Wars until Nick was 6 (he’s now 7 ½). I LOVE Star Wars and wanted him to love it too- I figured premature exposure may ruin it.

What pushed me over the edge, despite my hesitations was when I was called to do a customer focus group for some unknown product. It turns out the focus group was to get reactions to new Lego Star Wars products (awesome!), and the room was full of Dads about my age with kids about my son’s age. Almost all of them had shared Star Wars with their kids by then, and especially extolled the virtues of the Lego Star wars video game.

The next day, I showed Nick some you tube clips- as a way to gauge his interest (through the roof), expose him to characters (he instantly was head over heels for Darth Maul!), and talk about basic plot points. I figured this would make the movies easier for him to understand and enjoy. It worked!

He devoured the movies on DVD (and they are still in heavy rotation, especially Episodes 4 and 6). The Wii game came shortly after, and we played that together for about 6 months straight (great game, and the best was when, he wanted me to play but I was busy with work, and he said (and I shit you not) “the galaxy is better with you and me”- how could I resist?)

This Halloween, we went to our town’s parade as a big group of SW characters- he was Vader, I was Boba Fett, my wife was Amidala, and two friends were Leia and a Stormtrooper. It was awesome.

We have light saber battles almost every day (between this and his gymnastics, he really makes a great Jedi), and have battle-scenes all sketched out for the movie he wants to make when he’s older.

Just a few weeks ago, Nick experienced the high point of his life, as he battled Darth Maul at Disney World’s Jedi Training Academy!

In short, I think waiting until he was fully ready made finally seeing Star wars a life-changing experience for nick and a great bonding opportunity for us. Don’t rush things.

May the force be with you all.

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james zahnJames Zahn aka The Rock Father

Reccomended Age: 2 1/2

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: STAR WARS

“I was less than a year old when the original STAR WARS arrived in theaters on May 25, 1977. While I don’t remember the first time that I got to view the original film, it’s a documented fact (thanks to old Polaroids and plenty of Super 8mm film reels) that I started amassing a sizable collection of the original Kenner Action Figures well before the THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK was released in 1980. Although I wasn’t even four years old at the time, I distinctly remember seeing EMPIRE on the big screen. Taking a page from my own upbringing, I’d say by age three all children should be required to view STAR WARS.

My oldest daughter is 3 and a half as of this writing, and it was about a year ago that I first sat her down for a taste of EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE. A short time afterward, we had our first experience “”playing STAR WARS”" with Luke Skywalker, a Tauntaun, and a Wampa. The snow-covered landscape of Northern Illinois stood-in for Hoth  and a year later I have a legit STAR WARS fan on my hands. She’s now seen the entire Original Trilogy, and pieces of the prequels. She loves the LEGO Star Wars specials, and has a few STAR WARS t-shirts in her wardrobe. In fact, just today I had both of my daughters decked-out in STAR WARS shirts. My youngest is 7-months, and while she hasn’t seen the films yet, she’s already being “”exposed”" to a galaxy far, far away.”

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ande davisAnde Davis of & Squatch Makes Three

Reccomended Age: Maybe 4. Maybe 28.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Marvel ((editor’s note for Ande: Marvel is owned by Disney… as is Star Wars. Ande narrowly escapes execution on this one))

“Short answer: When they want to sit down and watch it.

Long answer: I didn’t see any of the Star Wars movies as a whole, straight-through, until I saw Episode III in the theater with my wife’s family. I had no idea what was going on. I saw the first two movies (Episodes IV and V) for the first time when I was 28.

The person who finally made me watch them was a 4-year-old boy who was on the hockey team I coached. We watched them in the back seat of his car as his mom and my wife talked in the front seat on the way to a tournament in Iowa City. He’d seen them several times and loved them already. He was telling me who everyone was and what was going on. At four.

At four, I had no desire to see the movies. At 14 or 24, I had no desire to see the movies. I don’t think it really has anything to do with age, necessarily, as much as it has to do with their willingness to absorb it. The same holds true for sharing any parent’s passion with a kid. I’l have to hold off showing my kid the X-Men movies until he’ll want to sit down and watch them with me or taking him to a baseball game until he’s willing to be in his seat for that long. I’m betting he’ll let me know when it’s time.

The right age is going to depend on the kid. They might be 4. They might be 28. When they’re ready, they’re ready.”

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Carter GaddisCarter Gaddis of Dadscribe

Reccomended Age: 4-8, depending on the kid

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“My wife and I decided that our older son was ready for Episode IV (or most of it, anyway) when he was IV. Now, there were caveats. I fast-forwarded through the Vader strangulation scene at the beginning, as well as the severed arm and Greedo’s death at the hands of Han in the cantina scene. It wasn’t until he was almost seven that he saw the “”uncut”" version, and by then he understood the concept of make believe.

Some background: I saw a New Hope three times in the theater the summer of 1977. I was 8. Naturally, that left an impression. My interest in the Star Wars franchise has led me to many of the novels, starting with the first Timothy Zahn trilogy. I also have spent far more time than I should admit playing the various permutations of Star Wars-themed video games. So, my sons never really stood a chance. They were going to be exposed to it, even if only on the periphery. Rather than conceal it and needlessly create a Star Wars stigma in our house, I let them in. It’s now something we share, although I doubt either of my sons will ever approach it with anywhere near the passion I have over the years.

That said, we have not yet decided that the time is right for our younger son, who is now 4. He simply could not process the story or fathom the first thing about even the most rudimentary themes. Whereas, his older brother sat and watched, riveted, throughout the entire first showing, our younger son would probably last about 15 minutes before moving on to the next thing or begging to watch Thomas the Train. That’s OK, too. I think that illustrates, for us, anyway, that there probably is no single age that is appropriate for the first exposure to Star Wars. I’m sure he’ll come around, eventually.

One thing I have not done is show either of them Episodes I-III. Now, we have played LEGO Star Wars, the Complete Saga, together on the PS3. But that only gives a cursory overview of the accursed prequels. If either of my sons ever want to see those poorly made, poorly acted, poorly conceived abominations, they’ll have to do so once they’ve left the nest. If then. ”

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dadnchargeDadNCharge of dadncharge.com

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“Much to the chagrin of my wife, I started showing my son the Star Wars series when he was four which was in 2009. Even though I still don’t like the first three movies over the last three, and any self respecting Star Wars fan will say so, I still thought he should see the movies in order so as to not confuse him. Lego Star Wars, the video game ironically came out on April 5th, 2005, the same day as my son’s birthday.  Once my son was old enough to play with action figures without eating the parts, I took out my old collection of Star Wars toys and taught him all the characters names. There was a natural progression there from playing with the figures to making up our own stories which I based on the movies and that is when he started to ask questions about the characters.

My son was in preschool in 2008, which is when The Clone Wars animated series began. We started seeing more backpacks and Clones Wars toys and T-shirts on all the little guys so I was curious, was this something he could watch?  At this time, he was only three and I deemed it too stressful. Since he was getting stressed out watching Bob the Builder, I didn’t push it.

While at another boy’s house on a play date, he first played Lego Star Wars on the Wii with his friend. He instantly became very interested in learning all he could about Star Wars. The Wii was bought for a Christmas present later that year and we bought Lego Star Wars and played it together. I found that it was a kid friendly and funny way to tell the saga and we enjoyed playing it together when my younger daughter was sleeping.

Once he mastered the Wii, I felt it was time to show him the movies. I came across an article about how a little bit of stress was good for kids, that it showed them resilience but that you didn’t want to overwhelm them. For this reason, I would show him the movie in parts and talk about it afterwards. There were some stressful parts and I had to fast forward through some of the boring talking parts for him because sometimes he didn’t understand what was going on. Unfortunately, with Hayden Christensen as Anakin, I was fast forwarding a lot.  I thought it was cool that in the first movie my son could see that Anakin started off as a boy just like him and I think that he identified with that.  I justified it by comparing it with some of the Disney movies he was also watching. There always seemed to be some kind of conflict with tense moments in these movies albeit animated in most cases, but I never showed him the parts where people were cut in half or lost arms or hands.

After watching all the films together he came to his own conclusion that the last three films are better than the first three and that Jar Jar was an annoying character…that’s my boy!

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Dad-Loves-Movies_squareTodd Reed of dadlovesmovies.com

Reccomended Age: In The Womb

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Both, but personally lean a little more Trek, but Star Wars is more kid-friendly.  I’ve been using it as a gateway drug and am now starting him on the original Star Trek series.

“Q: When is is appropriate to expose your kids to Star Wars?

A: The womb

There is no better way to being indoctrinating your little one in the ways of the Force than to be strapping mom-to-be in a recliner and cranking the surround sound up on the opening credits of Episode IV.  It’s not a successful pregnancy unless the child slides out of the womb to the Imperial March.

In all seriousness though, I think it ultimately comes down to the child.  Parents know their children best and know what they can and cannot handle.

While I may not have “”strapped”" the wife into the recliner, Star Wars was definitely being pumped into the amniotic ether simply because I am such a fan.

While there are themes that may not be appropriate for younger viewers, most of that will go over their heads (like the adult jokes in a Pixar film), and they’ll begin to fall in love with the characters.  They become a launch pad for the imagination as it opens them up to a whole new world.

For my kids, especially my last one (who is currently 10 – the age I was when the first movie came out), Star Wars has always been a part of his life, whether it was the stuffed R2-D2 he had in his crib or the movies on in the background.  We graduated to lightsabers, Halloween costumes, action figures and Lego sets over the years, but Star Wars is a bond I think we will always share.

Though we’ve watched them many times at home, I was thrilled to take him to see Episode 1 on the big screen last year (Yes, it is a flawed movie, but I’ll take flawed Star Wars over most other films), and I’m looking forward to taking him to see the remaining films (and maybe some new ones) over the next few years.”

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BloggerFatherBloggerFather from bloggerfather.com

Reccomended Age: 3, no 4, no 5… *sigh* maybe 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Trek

“I tried when my son was 3. It was a very exciting day. Unfortunately, we didn’t make it past “”The Red People”" — the robot traders. Maybe the nerds have a more accurate name for them, but in our house they’re known as “”The Red People.”"

I tried again when he was 4. This time he didn’t make it past Vader.

I tried again recently, just before he turned 5, and he ran from the room when the opening title started rolling.

We went to an open-air concert in July–the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra played John Williams tunes in the park. People came dressed up, and there were fireworks at the end… So I asked my son, “”Maybe you’ll watch Star Wars when you’re 5?”" And he said, “”7,”" Maybe we’ll settle for 6.”

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ihopeiwinatoasterBill from ihopeiwinatoaster

Reccomended Age: Never

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Mayberry, RFD

“I have to think about Star Wars again.  I don’t really want to, but, our American zeitgeist – think LEGOs and Saturday cartoons and models and the constant quoting and referencing and the endless “iconic” imagery – and the fact that I have nearly eight-year-old twin boys, makes it an imperative.  I am not happy about it.

Oh, I have a lot of reasons to not like Star Wars, and to not want my kids to see them.  Mostly I have a problem with the commercial juggernaut the whole thing has become.  I really don’t like what’s-his-head, Lucas, is it?  He seems like a prick.  I think, and have been cautioned by my pediatrician, that the imagery is too violent and chop-cut, the sound levels are too loud (and the score too pedestrian) and the plot too complicated and stereotyped for young minds.  (Actually the pediatrician just said the thing about the visuals and loudness, I sort of, well, inferred the rest.)  Maybe the message is at its core, heroic, but there is too much stuff in the way, blowing-up-dead-people-complex-subplot-stuff, to find it.

I could go on, but I won’t.  Listen, I don’t know you, and, if you think it’s okay for your four year-old to watch these movies, go ahead.  I assume that the kid is in your lap and you’re stopping and explaining all the complications and twists and bodies.  I assume you’ll abandon  the movie when asked and soothe any bad dreams it may cause.  However, if you are simply plopping the kid in front of the sixty inch, cranking the surround sound and are just watching it for your own enjoyment, well, I think your kid is too young for that.

You know what?  As sick and twisted as it sounds, my family sits around a table and crafts together; we build a fire in the fireplace and sing “This Land is Your Land” and “Puff, The Magic Dragon;” we go camping and read books together.  My boys make pretend cell phones out of cardboard and fashion computers out of paper.  In other words, my kids are naive, hell, I’m naive, and, well, Star Wars is complicated, implicative and difficult to explain.  I guess my kids are too young for the movies, but, they’re being raised in Mayberry.  It’s nice here.

Yes, Opie, I am your Father. ”

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chris roultryChris Routly of daddydoctrines.com

Reccomended Age: 4

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“My general thought is that “”exposure”" to Star Wars can start from, well, birth. I mean, no harm in dressing your infant up like Yoda, or giving your toddler a stuffed Jawa, right? The Big Question for me is when I should sit down my boys to start watching the movies. I have two boys, ages 2 and 4. The younger is, for now, clueless about All Things Star Wars. But this past year the 4-year-old took an interest in lightsabers after we watched a fan-made lightsaber battle video on YouTube. Days later he specifically asked me if we could watch a real movie “”with lightsabers.”"

After discussing it with my wife, we decided to introduce him to the movies, starting with Episode IV: A New Hope. It was split into 4 separate “”Family Movie Nights”" where we watched about a half-hour at a time. He enjoyed it, though of course he had no idea what was going on. He asked a lot of questions. I had to distract him when the burning corpses of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were shown. He laughed at “”the funny robot”" a lot, but in his case this was whenever Darth Vader appeared on screen, not R2-D2 or C-3PO. He still thinks Vader is hilarious.

My plan is to move on the Empire Strikes Back next, but I have decided to wait a while before he watches anything more. We’ll have a few more viewings of A New Hope over the next couple of years, I figure, maybe until he is 6 or even 7 before moving on. For now, he now has toy lightsabers, an X-Wing and a TIE Fighter, and a little toy R2, all procured as Christmas gifts this year from well-meaning family members. He’ll undoubtedly make friends with other kids whose Star Wars knowledge rubs off on him.

Was age 4 too early to show him A New Hope? I don’t know. Maybe I got lucky in that he didn’t get scared or break my heart by hating it. Either way, I’ll take some solace that it was after watching A New Hope that he decided he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up, and took an interest in space, rockets, planets, and shuttles.”

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ontherunDad On The Run from the blog of the same name.

Reccomended Age: 5 or 6

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: What is this Star Trek you speak of?

“My wife and I started discussing this early on, and when our oldest was a toddler we imagined that 5 or 6 would be a good age to begin training her in the ways of the force. Fast forward a few years and we are there. My daughter, J Bean, was just introduced to “”A New Hope”" this past week after grooming her for it with the Star Wars Alphabet book (B is for Boba Fett) and Star Wars collecting cards in her rewards jar.

This worked out pretty well for us, by the time we watched the movie (soon after her 4th birthday) she had some understanding of the Star Wars universe and would ask things like, “”Is that a dangerous droid?”" or make comments like “”They told a story, those ARE the droids they are looking for!”" and “”Those little people ran R2D2′s battery down, that is not very nice… and where is SeaFreePeevOh?!?”"

I wouldn’t argue with a parent who wanted to wait a little longer as I think J Bean’s grasp on the plot line as a whole is pretty shallow, but she likes good guy/bad guy drama, fighting, lasers and flying so there are no complaints from her end. My favorite moment was when she correctly identified a tie fighter the very first time she saw one on screen. I think my heart grew 2 sizes! The force is strong with this one. So, my definitive answer is: As soon as you can no longer wait. Then again and again and again, until they love it as much as you do. If they don’t? You could always try to have another kid. ”

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tom burnsTom Burns of buildingalibrary.com

Reccomended Age: 6 +/-

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: I visit both camps, but spent more time at Camp Star Wars as a child

“For me, trying to figure out the appropriate age to expose your kids to Star Wars is all about knowing your kid and knowing how they react to violence and death. I’m not saying that A New Hope is on par with a Tarantino movie when it comes to murder and mayhem, but, despite the fantasy trappings of the Star Wars universe, there is some really awful stuff that happens in the movies. Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen are killed and burned, a jerk named Greedo gets shot (WITHOUT shooting first), Princess Leia is tortured, 95% of a Rebel X-Wing Squadron is blown to bits, and many, many spaceguns are fired constantly – and that’s just the first movie. Yes, it’s all done within the structure of a relatively light-natured space myth, but the darkness is there if your kid wants to see it.

If you have a kid who doesn’t register that kind of violence as real, if they’re the kind of kid who can easily shrug things off and say “it’s only a movie,” I can see letting them see A New Hope at a relatively young age. Maybe four years old. (I realize that I’m skewing to the conservative on this one.)  But if you have a kid who really immerses themselves in stories and has a hard time separating the real and the artificial, personally, I wouldn’t show them Star Wars until first grade or later. For example, my daughter is the kind of kid who gets very introspective after watching a movie and I’ve spent a lot of late, late bedtimes having some really rough discussions with her about topics like what really happened to Nemo’s mother in Finding Nemo. She picks up on all of those little movie moments that, as parents, we hope our kids just gloss over. And because I know she’s like that, I’ve held off on letting her see Star Wars, despite her intense interest. As her parent, I don’t think she’ll react well to it. I may be wrong, but, as her dad, I’m comfortable taking that as an informed decision.

Violence and death aside, other aspects to consider when trying to determine an appropriate Star Wars age are your kid’s personal play habits. Do they play with guns? If not, they may very well want to start after watching Star Wars. Is your kid super-aggressive? Well, show them Star Wars and every long stick they can get their hand on is going to be turned into a lightsaber and swung at your legs (if you’re lucky) afterwards. Not that I’m saying Star Wars exposure guarantees ANY of these behaviors. I’m just saying that your decision to show your child Star Wars needs to be informed by how well you know your kid. You need to look at the variables, process them, and ask yourself “How is my kid going to react?” And, ideally, an appropriate age will emerge. Based on the level of violence in the films alone, personally, I’d pick six as a good median age, though I know that’s going to be considered high by a lot of other parents.

It is important to note, however, that I am only talking about the original Star Wars trilogy. Studies clearly show that there is never an appropriate age to show your children the Star Wars prequels. NEVER.”

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postpostPost Postmodern Dad from postpostmoderndad.com

Reccomended Age: 7-9

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Formerly both but now? Doctor Who

7-ish for Star Wars. 8 or 9 for Empire Strikes Back and then everything else can follow. Empire Strikes Back gets dark and deals with some mature themes. And the only order to watch them is 4, 5 6, 1, 2, 3.

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greedoThomas Rogers, Awkward Story Dad of awkwardstory.com

Reccomended Age: 6, possibly 7

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Star Wars

“One day in the distant future, I will be called into my son’s school for a parent conference. A secretary will inform me via phone that my child has been sent to the principal’s office for inappropriate behavior. When I arrive, a polite school administrator will invite me to sit down next to the adorable monster that looks like me, and ask the little guy to explain himself.

“Dad, I passed a note in class. When my teacher asked me for the note, I waved my hand across his face and said ‘These are not the notes you’re looking for.’ Then he sent me here to the Emperor’s office. It’s nice to see you. How’s mom?”

I don’t want my son to watch Star Wars. I want my son to watch Star Wars and then play Jedi for the next seven years. I hope that he refers to the doctor’s office as the Death Star, and eventually asks his teacher how old she was when she turned to the dark side.  He’ll make light saber sounds with his chopsticks whenever we get Chinese take-out, and he’ll describe nice people by saying things like “the force is strong with that librarian.”

My boy may be six when he gets called into that principal’s office.  Possibly seven. Either way, I plan on listening intently as the principal voices her concerns. When my John Williams ringtone goes off in the middle of the conference, I’ll do my best to get my son to stop dancing like an ewok on her desk. ”

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henryellissHenry Elliss of Henry’s Blog

Reccomended Age: 6 or 7

Star Wars vs. Star Trek: Mainly Star Wars, but JJ’s reboot has made me pretty bipartisan now.

“I just asked my 4-year-old son Robert, “”When do you think you’ll be old enough to watch Star Wars with Daddy?”", to which he replied “”Hmmm, when I am 6 or 7. They’re too scary for me now”". So until he changes his mind, I’ll be going with that as a plan.

I don’t actually think I’d want to go too much earlier than that anyway – as much as I love Star Wars (believe me, I do) I also know how much arm-chopping, Rancor-munching, Ewok-stomping, lava-burning action there is in the films – and I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.

At least thanks to Lego he knows about 50% of the characters names though – that’ll do me for now. And for the record, R2-D2 is his favourite…!”

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Parents Are Stone-Cold Gangsta’s

20 Sep

ll you mutha’s and fatha’s in da house, you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout. Ah yea. Das right. You ‘da schizznit.

*ugh* Enough of that. I think I just broke something.

What is it about parenting that draws so many parallels to the Thug Life. Maybe it’s the chilling blood feuds between warring factions (kids v. adults). Maybe it’s the constant, rhythmic repetition — saying the same things over and over and over and over and over that makes us all sound like gangster rappers.

Maybe it’s the fact that we like to roll up in a dope new ride tricked out with all latest spinners, hydraulics, tinted windows and bullet proof paneling.

Or maybe it’s that soul-chilling dead look behind the eyes that comes only after witnessing countless horrific atrocities beyond the scope of normal human existence; when a life outside the current reality is less than a distant memory and you know in the core of your empty, hollowed-out soul that your life has absolutely no meaning.

What? You aren’t a parent?

Don’t even pretend you know what I’m talkin’ ’bout.

-Dork “D-money” Daddy

 

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